1. Wishes are important, so obviously choose yours wisely.
Translation: “Leprechauns are as green as a little shamrock and as tricky as a clever fox. If I caught one, I would put a pot of gold to lure him into the cage and trap him. Then I would wish for a blue D.S.”
2. Installing security systems after you’ve caught the perpetrator is always a good choice.
Translation: “Leprechauns are as sly as a red fox named Steve and as small as a bee named Dwinkledworf. If I caught one, I would put security lasers all over my house.”
3. Leper cones deserve love too.
Translation: “Can you leave something of yours? Happy Saint Patrick’s Day, little leprechaun.”
5. Bonus points for highly artful leprechaun butt drawing.
Translation: Good morning. Today is Tuesday. We have P.E. If I caught a leprechaun I would spank his butt.”
6. How unintentionally poetic.
Translation: “Leprechauns are as mean as a slick fox and as rich as a thin millionaire. If I caught one, I would put it in quicksand fast. Then I would wish for all the gold he has forever thoroughly.”
7. “Fish make great friends.” —No one ever
Translation: “If I caught a leprechaun, I would ask him where the pot of gold is. If I got the pot of gold, I could buy a lot of stuff. I would still keep him and feed him. Then he would be friends with my dog and my fish.”
8. Green apples solve everything.
Translation: Reason 1: “If you give me your gold, I will let you go.” Reason 2: “If you give me your gold I will never ask you to give me your gold again.” Reason 3: “I will give you a green apple.”
9. Aw, this little girl makes the future of America look a little brighter.
Translation: “I think you should give your gold to me because there are a lot of homeless people in Nevada. I an very, very, very nice. I am a good kid. I have the best teacher in the whole world. I live in the desert, and I am not tricking you.”
10. This kid’s use of adjectives rivals Shakespeare’s.
Translation: Leprechauns are as tiny as an ant and as green as Yoda. If I caught one, I would put it in a creative jar. Then, I would wish for an awesome hover board, a humungous lollipop, and an incredible crystal.”
11. It’s about time someone took a stand against pinching.
Translation: “If I caught a leprechaun I would take his gold and run away. I would make him show me where his gold is. I would find the rainbow and follow it. I would make him stop picking on people.”
12. These are very good arguments.
Translation: Reason 1: “Leprechaun wouldn’t have to carry around heavy gold because I would have it.” Reason 2: “I could buy games and toys like X-Box.” Reason 3: “I could pay for my family and me to go on a trip to Lego Land.”
13. Height doesn’t matter when you’re packing some serious sumo power.
Translation: “Leprechauns are as happy as a humming bird named Ellie and as fat as a black sumo wrestler.”
14. When all else fails, play dirty.
Translation: “If I caught a leprechaun I would ask him where he keeps his gold, and I would take it. I would also put him in a cage with fake gold.”
15. There are green and gold kittens? WHERE?!
Translation: “Leprechauns are as whiny as a green and gold kitten and as crazy as a hyena.”
16. Room crashers be warned.
Translation: “Dear Leprechaun: Did you crash my room? Because if you did I swear I will bury you!”
17. If you see these kids, run. Run far away.
Translation: “If I caught a leprechaun, I would chop him in half and then steal his gold and hide it somewhere up high in a cabinet and he will try to get it.”