1. First, Matt Damon kidnapped Jimmy and held him hostage.
2. Then we saw this clip of Jimmy Kimmel auditioning for Matt Damon’s roles with the help of several celebrities.
3. Then Robin Williams did the opening monologue.
4. Then Andy Garcia replaced Jimmy’s sidekick/security guard Guillermo.
5. Then Ben Affleck made an appearance but left because he couldn’t betray Jimmy.
6. Then Jimmy’s ex Sarah Silverman came on the show and talked about their relationship.
7. Then Nicole Kidman entered and humped Jimmy Kimmel.
8. Then Reese Witherspoon appeared and joined the show.
9. Then Demi Moore showed up.
10. Then several MORE really famous people congratulated Matt on his “new show” while ripping on Jimmy Kimmel.
11. Oh yeah, and Sheryl Crowe was there.
- At least two people are dead and 100 others injured after two trains collided in Bavaria, Germany, local police say.
- U.S. presidential candidates are making their final pitches before the New Hampshire Primary, the second voting contest of the nominating season 🇺🇸
- The Pentagon has confirmed that North Korea successfully launched a satellite into orbit on Sunday night.