The 14 Stupidest Ways Facebook Now Lets You Update Your Status

Facebook just rolled out a new set of status options in the UK. They seem pretty dumb.

Go to update your status and you’ll now see a smiley icon, which brings up a menu of options: feeling, watching, reading, listening to, drinking, and eating.

The first of these involves emoticons, and is very MSN Messenger/early Myspace. The latter all link to the relevant Facebook pages.

It’s kind of fun, but also feels a little juvenile, and raises a number of questions. Such as…

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1. What kind of simpleton would ever use this option?

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2. Or this one?

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3. Who broadcasts the fact that they feel “comfortable”? Is that the kind of thing anyone shares?

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4. This one feels pretty niche, too.

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5. So does this one.

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6. Fresh? What is this, the ’90s?

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7. The auto-suggestions are weird too. Why does Facebook suggest to me these five books above all others?

These are presumably supposed to be tailored to your tastes, but I have never Liked any of these things, or anything remotely related to them.

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8. And why these five films/shows?

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9. Who are all these people?

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10. Why are the emoticons for “ashamed” and “sexy” almost exactly the same?

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11. Will anyone take these seriously, or will they just be used for silliness?

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12. Or dirty jokes.

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13. Or showing off.

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14. Or making slightly obscure puns.

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This might not be a permanent feature. Facebook has described the new emoticons as “just a small test to see if people are interested in sharing their actions in a more visual way.”

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Let’s hope they don’t take it off in a big way. After all, if users’ feeds get cluttered with these new actions, they’ll want to use this one pretty much all the time.

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Luke Lewis is the executive editor of BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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