23 Words That Have A Totally Different Meaning When You’re Drunk

I don’t know where I am.

1. “Taxi”

Sober meaning: Convenient transportation.
Drunk meaning: Mystical carriage that will only cost you all of your money.

2. “Directions”

Sober meaning: What you follow to get where you need to be.
Drunk meaning: What you basically ignore while stumbling around and then just going somewhere else because it was nearer and had pretty lights.

3. “Conversation”

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Sober meaning: When you talk with someone.
Drunk meaning: When you talk at someone about exactly what their problem is, and how really, no-one quite gets you, you know?

4. “Barstool”

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Sober meaning: Something to sit on.
Drunk meaning: Something to fall off. Or lie on. Or anything except sit, really.

5. “Tip”

Sober meaning: 20%, give or take.
Drunk meaning: SOME NUMBERS JUST TAKE THEM.

6. “Stairs”

Sober meaning: What you climb.
Drunk meaning: What you climb, before giving up halfway and sitting down and complaining.

7. “Gravity”

Sober meaning: Your friend.
Drunk meaning: Your enemy.

8. “Passcode”

Sober meaning: A useful feature to ensure your phone’s security.
Drunk meaning: A useless technology to ensure you can never use your phone ever again because the thing won’t let you in and it’s not fair.

9. “Spill”

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Sober meaning: An annoyance.
Drunk meaning: The worst that could ever happen and proof that the universe hates you because now the alcohol is gone.

10. “Best friend”

Sober meaning: Your friend of many years.
Drunk meaning: That person you just met at the bar who TOTALLY GETS how that one song is actually the best song ever, even if you can’t quite remember the name of it right this second.

11. “Cat”

Sober meaning: Your pet.
Drunk meaning: Your therapist.

12. “Road”

Sober meaning: Where cars drive.
Drunk meaning: Where you sleep.

13. “An idea”

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Sober meaning: A good thing.
Drunk meaning: A very bad thing.

14. “Karaoke”

Sober meaning: A bit awkward.
Drunk meaning: A chance to prove to everyone that the world is wrong and you ARE A STAR, no matter what anyone says.

15. “Club”

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Sober meaning: The place you don’t really want to end up.
Drunk meaning: The place you have to be right this second or everything is ruined.

16. “Ex”

Sober meaning: Someone you loved in the past.
Drunk meaning: Someone you want to do in the very near future.

17. “DJ”

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Sober meaning: The person playing music.
Drunk meaning: The person who needs to play this one song right now, and oh my god, why aren’t they?

18. “Dancing”

Sober meaning: Rhythmic, controlled movement to good music.
Drunk meaning: Any movement at all, just general movement, to any music, even if it’s just in your head.

19. “Selfie”

Sober meaning: What you don’t really like taking.
Drunk meaning: What you have a million of on your phone.

20. “Tequila”

Sober meaning: An alcoholic drink made from Agave, that YOU ARE NEVER DRINKING AGAIN.
Drunk meaning: What you are drinking right now.

21. “Kebab”

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Sober meaning: A not very appetizing meal.
Drunk meaning: The single greatest thing humanity has ever created.

22. “Keys”

Sober meaning: A simple way to open your door.
Drunk meaning: Torture devices designed to mess with your head, because they just won’t work.

23. “Sleep”

Village Roadshow Pictures / Via leightonmeester-rph.tumblr.com

Sober meaning: What you’ll do in your bed.
Drunk meaning: What you’ll do anywhere.

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