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23 Things Every Late-Night Person Will Know To Be True

Sleep is for the weak. And the daytime, probably.

1. You are an expert at calculating exactly how many hours sleep you'd get if you fell asleep right now.

2. As you start thinking about bed, you will instantly come up with a million ideas.

3. Your life goals will be crystal clear at 4am.

4. And you'll have so much motivation!

5. There's part of you that always resents the idea of going to bed because there's something else you could be doing.

6. If you try to work while everyone is asleep, it'll be the most efficient thing you've ever done.

7. It's perfectly legitimate to make a sandwich at 2am.

8. And have a shower at 3am.

9. And clean your room at 4am.

10. You know exactly how to move around the house to avoid waking anyone else up.

11. Watching a quick half an hour of TV actually means starting a binge that will take you through most of the series.

12. You've had many, many different strategies to fix your terrible sleep habits suggested to you.

13. And are now very practiced at lying about exactly when you go to bed.

14. At the weekend, the point at which everyone else is starting to think about leaving the bar is the point at which you're waking up.

15. Unless you have to get up in the morning to do it. In which case you are in no way ready to attend anything before late afternoon at best.

16. The later you can start work in the morning, the better, because then you can justify staying up until the early hours.

17. Your morning routine consists mainly of caffeine and more caffeine.

18. You avoid staying at someone else's because you know they'll want to sleep when you want to do literally anything else.

19. If you do happen to be in bed with anyone else, you'll end up lying there doing nothing for hours as they sleep gently next to you.

20. Getting into bed is never the same thing as actually going to sleep.

21. You suddenly find yourself making friends in other time zones to have some to talk to late at night.

22. There's always "one more scroll" on Facebook. Or Twitter. Or Instagram. Or anything, really.

23. But fundamentally, night is when everything interesting happens.