1. You can leave work and not carry on getting emails.
You can actually be off work.
2. You’ll never have to stare at your phone wondering why someone hasn’t replied again.
3. You’ll NEVER feel that buzz in your pocket that you think is a text, and then it turns out to be nothing.
4. You’ll be able to have a meal without feeling the urge to Instagram it.
5. Which also means you’ll never enrage everyone else in the restaurant.
6. You’ll never post a drunk tweet again, and wake up to an RT-based Twitterstorm.
7. You’ll never drunkenly make a status update that reveals your innermost feelings to the world.
Or at least, your friends, family, some people you once met at bars and a bunch of people who you don’t really know.
8. You’ll never have to worry about getting the Vine to juuuust the right length again.
9. Or being ‘mayor’ of anywhere.
It’s just a little bit lame…
10. You can walk around the streets without music and actually engage with the world around you.
11. Not to mention you’re much less likely to get run over because you’re paying attention.
12. You’ll never post an ‘amazing’ selfie that turns out to be just terrible when you see it on a full-size screen.
You’ll also not look ridiculous because when taking selfies.
13. Or miss exciting things going on around you because you’re too busy taking a selfie.
14. Instead of using your terrible phone camera, you can start using an actual camera and taking better photos.
15. You’ll never have the uncontrollable urge to check your likes, shares, comments, RTs, favourites or anything, ever again.
Well, you might for a little bit. But it’ll go away.
16. The tedious conversation about exactly what features your phone has will never happen again.
18. ‘Augmented Reality’ will thankfully never be a thing.
Nor will any other weird fads.
19. You’ll never have to worry about data plans again.
And how they don’t actually do what you want them to do.
20. Instead of just WhatsApp-ing people from your sofa, you’ll start meeting up with them.
21. You won’t be able to keep cancelling plans, so you might see people in real life!
Which will make you a better person.
22. You’ll never be tethered by the tyranny of a low battery ever again.
23. Or have to ask to charge your phone in a bar.
Bartenders hate it. Really, really hate it.
25. You can meet people in real life, rather than just swiping right.
26. You won’t have to worry about your location being tracked by advertisers.
And, y’know, the NSA.