24 Phrases Sarcastic People Use, Translated

Great list right here.

1. “With the greatest respect.”

Normally means: I am listening to what you are saying.
Now means: I do not think that anything you’ve ever said has been correct.

2. “Thanks for the help.”

Normally means: I appreciate that you’re assisted me here.
Now means: I hate the degree to which you have fucked this up.

3. “Cool.”

The Weinstein Company / Via elizabethstonembitch.tumblr.com

Normally means: This is a good thing.
Now means: This is a terrible thing.

4. “Obviously.”

Normally means: These things are true.
Now means: I cannot believe that you think that anyone doesn’t know this.

5. “Great job.”

Normally means: You have created something of value here.
Now means: You have created nothing of value here.

6. “Well done.”

Normally means: Congratulations on your achievement.
Now means: I’m disappointed you’re not paying attention to my acheivments instead.

7. “Thanks.”

Normally means: You are appreciated.
Now means: I am bitter about something.

8. “Take your time.”

Normally means: There’s no hurry.
Now means: HURRY. THE. FUCK. UP.

9. “That’ll be fun.”

Jeff Franklin Productions / Via whatshouldmyroomiescallme.tumblr.com

Normally means: I can’t wait to do this!
Now means: I would rather watch soda water bubble until all the bubbles have bubbled.

10. “Sorry.”

Normally means: I apologise.
Now means: I expect you to apologise.

11. “He’s great.”

Normally means: What a wonderful guy.
Now means: I have mould in my kitchen I’d rather talk to.

12. “That’s so funny.”

Normally means: I want to laugh so hard I could cry.
Now means: I want to cry so hard I could laugh.

13. “I’m ecstatic.”

Normally means: This is so amazing.
Now means: I’m pretty sure my life is falling apart.

14. “Oh, really?”

Normally means: I did not know that.
Now means: I did know that, because everyone knows that, and you have fallen a very long way in my estimation.

15. “Good luck with that.”

Normally means: I hope you do well.
Now means: I hope you struggle, give up, and eventually learn that all your dreams are worthless.

16. “Don’t worry about it.”

Touchstone Pictures / Via butlercat.tumblr.com

Normally means: It’s not a problem.
Now means: You have completely fucked up and I’m going to hold this against you for decades.

17. “Fascinating.”

Normally means: These are interesting points you are raising.
Now means: You have been talking for a very long time, and I’m not sure you have a grasp on the concept of words.

18. “Hilarious.”

Normally means: You have made me laugh.
Now means: You have made me wish death on most of humanity.

19. “I’m so happy for you.”

Normally means: This is good news.
Now means: I really hope this works out badly for you, preferably very soon.

20. “I’ll make a note of that.”

Normally means: This will be useful for the future.
Now means: I’m actually drawing a dick on this page.

21. “I’ve had a great time.”

Thinkstock

Normally means: This was wonderful.
Now means: I won’t ever be talking to you again. It’s possible I’m going to move to a different continent.

22. “I think that was my fault.”

FOX / Via vh1.tumblr.com

Normally means: That was my fault.
Now means: It’s your fault.

23. “I love you.”

HBO / Via pandawhale.com

Normally means: You are an incredibly important person to me.
Now means: Please leave.

24. “Oh my god.”

Alcon Entertainment / Via guh-gifgarden.tumblr.com

Normally means: I am legitimately surprised by that.
Now means: I know you’re not going to stop talking, so I’m just going to insert this here and start thinking about something else.

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Luke Bailey is deputy head of Buzz at BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
 
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