“I chatted a girl up that had a nice dresser in one of her pics. I needed a dresser for my new house. She ended up selling it to me for $10. That was a good hookup.”
“Got drunk, liked everyone, went to sleep. Woke up, zero matches, deleted it in a fit of hungover anger.
I am sexy and I know it, and ain’t no fucking app gonna tell me otherwise.”
“Got talking to a girl on there, we met up for drinks and it turned out to be the best date I’ve ever been on, we just talked all night and ended with a kiss… I walked her home and then we text each other till we both fell asleep. It was like being 16 again or something. The next time I saw her I got a blowjob whilst we watched Titanic…
God bless Tinder I say.”
“My buddy used it, found a girl, and they’ve been dating since around Easter. They have a totally normal relationship, except that we call her ‘Tinder Girl.’ “
“Back in January I started using it and was matched with a girl who happened to also be in the same college as me. We went on a few dates and everything was going great.
A few days later I had a stats midterm, and while studying I got a text from her saying, “Hope your midterm goes well! Why don’t you come over for board games after?” Now I’m usually pretty oblivious, but “board games”? on a Friday night? Yeah, I’m getting laid.
So I finish my midterm, text her that I’m on my way and hop on a bus. The entire bus ride I’m smiling from ear to ear, waiting patiently until I finally arrive around 9:30pm.
I entered her place and bam, bottle of wine on the table. I go and sit down, we start drinking and BAM! Settlers of Catan. We played for 2 hours. She hugs me goodnight and I leave.”
“Met my SO on Tinder. Been dating since February. The sex is amazing. He was my first in over a year. This past weekend I even let him put it in my butt. True romance.”
“The first person I met on Tinder peed on me.
The second one called me the next day and accused me of drugging him at the bar. This was especially weird because he left alone without even saying goodbye to me.
The third met me for lunch and was actively swiping on Tinder matches during the meal.
I am still using Tinder.”
“I met a up with a girl so we could watch Frozen together.
We actually watched Frozen together. She was disappointed and I was mesmerized, I’d never seen that shit before.”
“Found a girl on there. Good sense of humor, personality, that sort of thing. We wound up meeting up, hooking up… aaaand then kind of kept up with that frequently for weeks, then months, and so on.
What’s annoying is that she was a perfect match for me. We were both well educated, I was finishing my JD, she had a double major and was getting into a Masters program. So we were both goal/career oriented, both into sports, oddly both the ‘same race’ which has been excessively rare for me (we’re both a black/white mix, this isn’t important for either of us but we were also the first black/white mix we had ever met let alone dated. First time I held someone’s hand who was the same color as me so… that was kind of cool). We loved the same jokes, just… a scary perfect match.
So, great sex, cool set of friends, she cooks well (I cook too but I’m part Caribbean and she is not a fan of spicy food and cooking without curry is foreign to me), our political views are different enough that we can still have a good discussion.
And then I finished law school and went to take the bar in another state. I’m off and on sitting around just wondering what the fuck am I doing and if I should just keep it going or what. She’s honestly the first and currently only person in my life that I genuinely thought was marry worthy.
TL;DR = practically found perfection and now I don’t know what the fuck to do”
“I’ve had tinder for 16 months and have still yet to get a message. Not even from spam bots.”
“I’ve met six girls since I downloaded the app in January. I’ve experienced two firsts in my life as a result.
1. I’ve had sex on a beach at night, complete with sticks poking my ass.
2. A girl has patted me on the head post-orgasm and said ‘Good Job.’ “
“I met a guy on Tinder about three months ago and he seemed pretty nice, mostly attractive, plenty of shared interests and a bit older, we talked for a bit on and off for a few days before deciding to meet up for a date.
We went to a park and talked for a bit and then started making out, so we found a quiet space and had sex. Later I go home and my mom asks me where I went on my date, and when I told she replied… ‘Oh that’s wonderful! That’s where me and your father got married!’
I defiled my parents wedding venue by fucking a stranger I met on Tinder.”
“I met a girl and we met up for drinks. We talked for a while and eventually ended up going to a late lunch.”
“I’m an identical twin. My brother was visiting me at school and I invited a girl I met on Tinder over. He doesn’t use Tinder, but obviously didn’t want to be alone for the night so I used the app to get him a girl too.
She thought he was me the entire time all the way up until she left the next morning.
Right before she left she asked my brother a question about my rugby team that he just couldn’t answer. I got some angry messages afterwards.”
“I slowed my automatic swiping right and saw some friends of girls I’ve disappointed sexually. We’ll see how that goes.”
“I once started seeing a man a decade my senior who had come to the state on a whim. The first time we slept together was that first date in the back of his Jeep in the parking lot of 3 churches.
The second time, still inside me, he asked me if I was going to have a good day at school while I was riding on top. That ended that.”
“I started chatting with the hottest girl ever. No lying, she is definitely be the most attractive girl I will ever hook up with in my life.
Finally went over to her place at 3am one night. I couldn’t believe how hot she was. I literally lasted 16 seconds. Needless to say, she wasn’t impressed.
Anyway, she was kind of a terrible person, so I fell head over heels in love.
I only saw her once afterwards, we made out in the street for like five minutes before her friends dragged her away. All my friends think she’s crazy and all her friends think I’m crazy, so it’s probably true love.”
“I totally suck at Tinder. Met a girl for a one night stand. Four months later, we’re getting on a plane to go on holiday together. Fucking amateur.”
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