18 Things That People Who Hate Being Outdoors Will Understand

Home is where the Wi-Fi is.

1. The repeated pressure to get ‘fresh air’ makes absolutely no sense.

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There is air indoors, as well. It’s just as breathable.

2. People seem to think parks are relaxing, when actually they’re just less comfortable versions of indoors.

3. You end up sitting on the grass, in which there is no comfortable position.

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Sort of leaning back on your arms? No. Laying down? No. Cross-legged? No, I’m not a child and this is just weird.

4. Basically nowhere outside has WiFi, and that is worrying.

 

“Oh, I’ll just use the 3G on my phone LIKE A GODDAMN ANIMAL.”

5. And it’s weird using a laptop outside.

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The brightness ends up making the screen unreadable.

6. In fact, it’s hard to go outside because you have to carry everything you want.

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Which is weird. And annoying. And I don’t want to do it.

7. The weather is just way too changeable, and it’s kind of unnerving.

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There is a controlled environment right here inside, why go outside where anything could happen?

8. If it’s raining, then there’s clearly no reason to go outside.

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9. If it’s sunny, then you’ll end up hot, and sweaty, and miserable.

10. Or, it’ll be somewhere in the middle, and whatever you decide to wear will end up being inappropriate.

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11. Drinking is much more frowned upon as well.

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It’s like not everywhere is expected to have alcohol.

12. And when you do drink outside, your beer gets warm really quickly.

By the time you’re on your third in the park, it’s really very warm.

13. The plans involving going outside always seem to be very loose, and end up with a lot of wandering around.

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14. And when there is somewhere specific to go, extra time needs to be factored in because “it’ll be nice to walk instead.”

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15. The beach is just as bad, with the giant fish toilet that is the sea.

Ugh, just look at it.

16. And the sand getting everywhere.

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17. The idea of camping as an enjoyable holiday is just bizarre.

18. There’s just nothing wrong with hanging out indoors.

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