Can You Tell Which Headline About East London Is Actually Real?

Dalston is fun, but Dalston is also very silly. Headlines from Dalstonist.

All stories from Dalstonist, website of record for weird stuff happening in East London.

    1. Hot tubs have been set up in a tube station so you can watch Top Gun
    2. There’s a bar in Dalston that is showing The Goonies on a loop for an entire year
    1. There’s now a pop-up that serves your meal entirely in smoothie form
    2. Here’s your chance to eat brains in a Dalston bomb shelter
    1. Hackney’s first Seapunk club night is happening next weekend
    2. Dalston’s first Super Mario Kart Grand Prix is on this weekend
    1. Pop-up bar Super Hands is opening in Clapton this weekend
    2. Pop-up bar The Swan & Paedo is opening in Clapton this weekend
    1. The Haggerston is named the best spot for a Tinder date in London
    2. The Cock Tavern has been named Beard Friendly Pub of the Year
    1. Every World Cup sticker ever made is on show in Haggerston
    2. There’s a huge game of hide and seek taking place in Haggerston next month
    1. You should party in this Stoke Newington hardware store this summer
    2. You should party in this London Fields motorbike shop this summer
    1. This Hackney pub just installed the first craft beer vending machine
    2. There’s a bar that serves mead under a kebab shop in Kingsland Road
    1. The UK’s first cereal cafe is being planned in Shoreditch
    2. The UK’s first marshmallow cafe is being planned in Shoreditch
    1. Every bench in London fields will be equipped with Wi-Fi by the end of the year
    2. Clowns are worried they won’t be allowed in Dalston any more
    1. A pop-up insect restaurant is opening in London Fields
    2. A pop-up quinoa restaurant is opening in London Fields
    1. You can do paint-by-numbers graffiti on the outside of a Dalston art gallery at the moment
    2. Naked people are posing as assassins for you to draw tomorrow
    1. Free toasties are being given out in an urban forest in Dalston on Friday
    2. Free coffee is being given out at a pirate ship in Dalston on Friday
    1. Twigs from De Beauvoir are selling on eBay for more than £50
    2. You can buy bottled water from Dalston online now
    1. Naked speed dating has arrived in Hackney
    2. Smell-based speed dating has arrived in Hackney
    1. Analysts say Hackney is officially the coolest borough in London
    2. Analysts say Hackney is officially the least relevant borough in London

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Luke Bailey is deputy head of Buzz at BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
 
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