We all know cereal. Cereal is lovely, a wonderfully varied but beautifully simple food to eat.
More importantly, we all know how to eat cereal. Cold milk on the cereal, in a bowl, with a spoon.
Now, some people put ice cubes on their cereal. It seems pretty goddamn weird, to be honest.
This doesn't look like it would be delicious. It'd just be incredibly watery, surely?
But, on the other hand, it would keep the milk very cold, and cold milk is the best. So even if it's weird, it's at least understandable.
Except that some people like putting HOT MILK on their cereal.
HOT MILK. MILK THAT IS HOT. HEATED-UP MILK.
Hot milk on cereal does not seem OK.
But it's definitely better than water on cereal.
Even if you can't get any milk, it should not be replaced with water.
It just looks so, so wrong.
And you really, really, really should not use coconut water. Just, what.
And you definitely shouldn't use orange juice. Oh yes, orange juice on cereal is a thing people do.
It's not just a thing people do by accident when they're tired. People want to do this.
People are even struggling to eat it out of something logical. Here's cereal in a plastic bag.
Or you can just it eat off a fucking plate.
But WHY would you eat it off a plate?
Or with chopsticks, off a plate. It's Cereal: Extreme Edition.
People put so much sugar on cereal, as well.
Sugar on cereal makes sense, sure, but this much must just make it taste so damn sweet.
But we're not even close to the really weird stuff yet. Beer-eal? Yep, beer on cereal. Hell of a way to wake up in the morning.
Oh yes, beer and cereal? Lovely.
Out of beer? No problem, throw some vodka in there.
Or rum? Yeah, bit of rum in there.
What else? Well, there's the whole cereal sandwich thing.
Oh why are there even rules? Here's some cereal in tomato soup.
Would you like to know what's in that cereal? Would you? Would you really? Because it's mayonnaise.
Well, fuck it, why not eat out of a shoe?
But yeah, this is it. This is where it gets dark. Cheese on cereal.
Get some cereal, throw some cheese on it.
Cheese and milk and cereal. Cheesy milky cereal.
These are very grave times for the human race.
"The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis." —Dante Alighieri