Blurred Lines: The Astigmatism Remix

YOU'RE THE BLINDEST B*TCH IN THIS PLACE!

Everybody look up

Hey, hey, hey (x3)

If you can’t see what they’re tryin’ to show

If you can’t read from the second row

Maybe scoot to the left

Maybe just squint your eyes

Maybe you’re goin’ blind

The moment you realized that it was time for glasses

Was when you mistook that lotion for molasses

No, Burt's Bees don’t taste sweet

Ain’t made from sugar beets

That cake was not fit to eat

And that’s why you gon’ go get contacts

You got bad vision

Astigmatism

Toric lens prism

Go get contacts

Or you’ll wear glasses

In all your classes

Like hipster masses

And you’ll see blurred lines

Refractive defect

Retina reflects

Optical effects

But you got contacts

To fix your vision

Avoid collision

Mature decision

You’d need a seeing eye dog

When your spectacles fog

Can barely walk so don’t jog

YOU’RE THE BLINDEST B*TCH IN THIS PLACE

The symptoms entail

Trouble seeing detail

Contacts will prevail

Good thing that you went to an eye examination

Learned your crystalline lens had suffered an abrasion

Your cornea’s oblong

Its curvature’s all wrong

This problem is lifelong

And that’s why you gon’ go get contacts

You got bad vision

Astigmatism

Toric lens prism

Go get contacts

Or you’ll wear glasses

In all your classes

Like hipster masses

And you’ll see blurred lines

Refractive defect

Retina reflects

Optical effects

But you got contacts

To fix your vision

Avoid collision

Mature decision