Blurred Lines: The Astigmatism Remix

YOU’RE THE BLINDEST B*TCH IN THIS PLACE!

Everybody look up
Hey, hey, hey (x3)

If you can’t see what they’re tryin’ to show
If you can’t read from the second row
Maybe scoot to the left
Maybe just squint your eyes
Maybe you’re goin’ blind

The moment you realized that it was time for glasses
Was when you mistook that lotion for molasses
No, Burt’s Bees don’t taste sweet
Ain’t made from sugar beets
That cake was not fit to eat

And that’s why you gon’ go get contacts
You got bad vision
Astigmatism
Toric lens prism

Go get contacts
Or you’ll wear glasses
In all your classes
Like hipster masses

And you’ll see blurred lines
Refractive defect
Retina reflects
Optical effects

But you got contacts
To fix your vision
Avoid collision
Mature decision

You’d need a seeing eye dog
When your spectacles fog
Can barely walk so don’t jog
YOU’RE THE BLINDEST B*TCH IN THIS PLACE

The symptoms entail
Trouble seeing detail
Contacts will prevail

Good thing that you went to an eye examination
Learned your crystalline lens had suffered an abrasion
Your cornea’s oblong
Its curvature’s all wrong
This problem is lifelong

And that’s why you gon’ go get contacts
You got bad vision
Astigmatism
Toric lens prism

Go get contacts
Or you’ll wear glasses
In all your classes
Like hipster masses

And you’ll see blurred lines
Refractive defect
Retina reflects
Optical effects

But you got contacts
To fix your vision
Avoid collision
Mature decision

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