Your Academy Awards Drinking Game

It’s not the Golden Globes, but just because the attendees won’t be drinking doesn’t mean you can’t.


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2. Seth MacFarlane acknowledges that he’s an odd choice to host the Oscars.

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3. Seth MacFarlane references Anne Hathaway’s disastrous hosting gig.

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4. The camera pans to Anne Hathaway, who can’t believe he went there!

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5. Ben Affleck does something charming in response to Seth MacFarlane’s joke about his Best Director snub.

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6. An “Argo” pun is made.

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7. Seth MacFarlane references Emmanuelle Riva’s advanced age and implies that she will die soon.

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8. Someone at your Oscars party says, “Wait, she died??” during the In Memoriam montage.

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9. A winner cries thanking Mom and Dad.

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10. A winner says, “I hear the music, but I have more people to thank!”

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11. You’re so busy tweeting you miss a major award.

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13. Someone mispronounces “Quvenzhané.”

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14. Hugh Jackman extolls the virtues of his beautiful wife, WHOM HE LOVES VERY MUCH.

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15. Catherine Zeta-Jones sings.

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16. The ceremony, which is running long, is compared to the torture scenes in “Zero Dark Thirty.”

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17. Seth MacFarlane makes a joke about “Octopussy” during the James Bond tribute.

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18. Seth MacFarlane makes fun of someone’s accent.

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19. The camera pans between exes. One sip for each spurned lover.

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20. There’s a montage of classic movies and no one knows what it’s for.

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21. Sofia Vergara shows up in a commercial. (Sip Diet Pepsi!)

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22. Someone at your Oscars party shames you for not having seen “Amour.”

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23. Any acceptance speech quotes Lincoln.

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25. Seth MacFarlane starts speaking in the Stewie voice. And don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.

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26. Someone does a full reenactment of Jodie Foster’s coming out speech.

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27. You accidentally make eye contact with Barbra Streisand.

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28. Someone at your Oscars party brags about having seen all the Best Foreign Film nominees.

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29. You realize “Snow White and the Huntsman” has two more Academy Award noms than you do.

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30. Dame Shirley Bassey and Adele come to blows over who sang a Bond song better.

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31. Anne Hathaway begins her acceptance speech. You’re going to need it.

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32. Anyone says “blerg.”

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33. Jennifer Lawrence finds a way to reference “The First Wives Club” again.

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34. You realize you are hopelessly attracted to Seth MacFarlane.

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