11. Manic Mailman (“The Simpsons”)
Little is known about the Itchy & Scratchy character Manic Mailman, aside from the fact that he’s a rip-off of the USPS’s Mr. Zip. Still holding out hope for a spin-off!
10. Agent K (“Men in Black II”)
Even retired Men in Black agents need day jobs. For Agent K, that meant donning a postal worker outfit and delivering letters. Thankfully, he’s back to protecting Earth from intergalactic invaders.
9. Mr. Wilson (“Dennis the Menace”)
Don’t worry too much about Mr. Wilson — he’s already retired. At this point, all he really has to worry about is Dennis sending him to an early grave. Kids, amirite?
8. The Postman (“The Postman”)
The titular Postman isn’t really out of work, since he lives in a post-apocalyptic wasteland already. Fun fact: The Postman takes place in 2013. Was this 1997 movie predicting the end of Saturday service?
7. Herman Post (“Garfield”)
Poor Herman Post: fated into his profession by a surname he didn’t choose, and then forced to contend with Garfield, the absolute worst cat any mail carrier has ever encountered.
6. Reba the Mail Lady (“Pee-wee’s Playhouse”)
Finally, a female mail carrier. (There’s a reason we don’t just call them postmen, OK?) Reba delivered mail to perpetual manchild Pee-wee, then became a lieutenant with the NYPD. Chung-chung.
5. Mario Ruoppolo (“Il Postino”)
Mario won’t miss Saturday service: he’s Italian, his only customer is Pablo Neruda, and he lives in the ’50s. Nevertheless, he’s a noble mail carrier and belongs on this list — and in our hearts.
4. Willie Lumpkin (“The Fantastic Four”)
Willie Lumpkin began life as a simple comic strip mailman, but he was thrust into the world of comic book adventure when he began bringing letters to the Fantastic Four. Those guys get a ton of fan mail.
3. Carol (“Paris, je t’aime”)
Arguably the saddest mail carrier on this list: Carol’s vignette in Paris, je t’aime is the film’s high point. Watch it online and prepare to have your heart broken.
2. Newman (“Seinfeld”)
What a poor reflection on the mail carrier profession. Despite taking pride in his work, Newman is terrible at his job, even withholding mail for his own nefarious schemes. Shame.
1. Cliff Clavin (“Cheers”)
Cliff isn’t just a postal worker: he’s also a Jeopardy! contestant and a Cheers regular. Do all mail carriers spend this much time in bars? Ah, well — when it comes to fictional mailmen, he’s everyone’s favorite example.
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Honorable mention, though it’s a different medium, newspapers rather than mail. The psychotic stalker paperboy (“I want my two dollars!!!!!”) from Better Off Dead. I confess to a chuckle or two reading that John Cusack had made a movie called The Paperboy. Had nothing to do with the former, of course. Not sure about the Nintendo game, though.
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