1. Lucille is the Grinch.
2. Showstealer Pro.
This watermark appeared on all flashbacks to the original series.
3. Michael wants to call George Michael “Boy George.”
The subject of another public restroom sex scandal.
4. The vulture.
“That’s not a great sign,” Michael notes.
5. Attitude Magazine.
The cover of this gay magazine references Boy George, George Michael, and their shared sex scandals.
6. Michael gets run over by an ostrich.
7. Henry Winkler’s son Max Winkler plays young Barry Zuckerkorn.
The resemblance is uncanny for a reason.
8. Halliburton Teen.
9. Heartfire tries to order at the bar.
Turns out not everyone can understand her.
10. The security cameras get hosed down.
Because maritime law requires that the cameras be waterproof.
11. Buster realizes he accidentally witnessed his parents having sex.
Lucille wasn’t talking to Buster. :-(
12. Lucille finds a way to smoke.
And give Buster lung cancer in the process.
13. The science question.
(The answer is B.)
14. The in-flight magazine advises passengers to use their phones.
15. George Sr. learns to communicate like Heartfire.
He doesn’t have the most pleasant thoughts.
16. Lucille feels persecuted.
17. Tobias and the Roomba both run out of juice.
He couldn’t even finish his…
18. Garden Grove Methadone Clinic.
Tobias thinks it’s a method acting class. (Method One, obviously.)
19. The sign says hotel soaps are no longer accepted.
This is shortly after Marky Bark tries to barter with hotel soap.
20. The goose.
It’s a Thanksgiving miracle!
21. Kitty’s ID card.
You’ll never have to “say goodbye to these” again.
22. The Jerry Bruckheimer Films sign.
Like the Imagine Films sign, it’s very literal.
23. Michael tells Kitty to watch her back because there are movers behind her.
24. Andy Richter implies that Conan only hires female writers to sleep with them.
25. Tobias gets a confusing license plate.
He just wants “a new start”!
26. Tobias has a stick up his bunghole.
27. DeBrie has a butter face.
That’s what happens when you rub butter all over your face.
28. Tobias inadvertently commits a hate crime.
Wait, is Sue Storm a Nazi?
29. Lucille thinks she’s being insulted.
He was being literal.
30. Ron Howard’s daughters are named after where they were conceived.
Which means there must be a particularly kinky story behind Rebel Alley.
31. Gob can’t remember Ann’s name.
So he just calls her “plant.” :-(
32. Gob thinks “egg” refers to Ann.
In his defense, it is her nickname.
33. Tobias stars in an anti-abortion propaganda film.
Embryo Dan: It Would Have Been a Wonderful Life.
Ann can’t even catch a break at her own wedding.
35. Locker Hawkers.
Gob ends up on a Storage Wars-type show where he’s described as a “feral Jesus.”
36. Lindsay tries to fake cry.
37. Lindsay uses the alias “Cindy Featherbottom.”
It’s a reference to Tobias’ “secret” identity as “Mrs. Featherbottom,” but also a literal reference to Cindy the ostrich, who has a feather bottom.
38. Tobias gushes about DeBrie.
She’s seen better days.
39. Tobias suggests that he and Michael lick each other’s wounds.
40. Tobias explains himself.
41. DeBrie passes out in front of debris.
42. Lucille is on a new reality show.
Coming soon to Bravo!
43. Lucille can’t handle a fast talker.
44. Lucille’s examples of dangerous brothers include Zack and Cody.
They get namechecked again later in the season.
45. Michael confuses another frozen dead dove for ice cream.
It says “DOVE (BAR)” because it’s a dead dove that Rebel got at a bar.
46. Oscar loves donkey punch.
It’s a drink, OK? It’s not whatever else you think it is.
47. Michael and Gob become convinced that the other is seeing Julie Bowen.
Hard to explain why this is as hilarious as it is. Just go with it.
48. Gob spits blood into his water.
His magic trick was biting his tongue. Hard.
49. Tobias helps Gob fill the vacant houses with sex offenders.
50. Tony confuses Ann’s name with the indefinite article “an.”
This seems to happen to her a lot.
51. Gangie V: Gangie on the Ganges.
Maeby’s Gangie horror series is going strong.
52. The shaman/Charmin pun.
53. Tobias gets choked up, literally.
Maeby thinks her dad is getting emotional, but nope, just a bug.
54. Maeby Featherbottom.
Maeby adopts her dad’s Featherbottom alias for one of her yearbook pictures. She also uses the term of endearment “pussy.” Thanks for that, Rita.
55. Maeby suggests calling it “The Fakeblock.”
A lot of George Michael’s software development storyline parodies The Social Network. He’s much softer than Mark Zuckerberg, though.
56. The mouth unit.
Aren’t you glad there’s a scientific explanation for what a terrible kisser George Michael is?
57. George Michael’s Spanish lover asks him to make her cry.
58. George Michael gets confusing advice about tutoring Maeby.
59. The Ann/egg confusion.
60. George Michael realizes exactly how long his internal monologue has been going on.
61. Buster looks through Lupe’s bag to make sure she hasn’t stolen anything.
Just like Lucille would have wanted.
62. The Vince Vaughn Psycho.
When Buster goes a little Norman Bates, the narrator invokes the terrible Gus Van Sant remake.
63. Buster does the John-John Kennedy salute.
64. Buster’s sign.
65. Lucille hates Buster’s giant hand.
66. Buster pushes the swing too hard.
He hasn’t learned how to control his giant hand!
67. George Michael’s sex offender neighbor suggests new team divisions.
68. George Michael sends Lem to go play with a town full of sex offenders.
Don’t worry, they’re more scared of Lem than he is of them.
69. Everyone wants to put it into Bluth.
George Michael is a little naive.
70. George Michael urges everyone to put up this wall.
This is, of course, a reference to the Berlin Wall — only backwards.