Entertainment

Ranking The "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Vampires

Not all bloodsuckers are created equal: check out this ranking of Buffy’s fanged enemies, allies, and occasional boyfriends.

22. The Anointed One

20th Television

First appearance: “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Number of episodes: 6
Remember when Spike called him “The Annoying One” and it was the most accurate assessment ever? Aside from the terrible child acting — seriously so bad — The Anointed One never really did anything. OK, he led Buffy to The Master, but literally any vampire could have done that.

21. Lyle and Tector Gorch

20th Television

First appearance: “Bad Eggs”
Number of episodes: 2
I could have ranked Lyle and Tector separately. I could also have included an entry for gone-too-soon Candy Gorch. But honestly, the less time we spend on this family, the better. While they only appeared briefly, they left an impression as the most annoying vampires Buffy ever encountered.

20. Andrew Borba

20th Television

First appearance: “Never Kill a Boy on a First Date”
Number of episodes: 1
Andrew Borba is kind of cool in that he was a religious zealot psychopath before he got turned. But he’s also a red herring who distracts Buffy from the identity of the real Anointed One. If he lasted longer, maybe he’d be higher on the list, but as it stands, he’s hardly memorable.

19. Luke

20th Television

First appearance: “Welcome to the Hellmouth”
Number of episodes: 2
Early on, Buffy didn’t seem to realize that vampires could be threatening without looking like total meatheads. Luke was a little too thick to be taken seriously — Brian Thompson did a better job playing The Judge in Season 2. (And a Super Soldier on The X-Files.)

18. Justin

20th Television

First appearance: “All the Way”
Number of episodes: 1
Ah, young love. Like her big sister, Dawn’s first major romance was with a vampire. Sadly, Justin isn’t a stand-up guy like Angel, and their fling was short-lived. (As in, it lasted an episode.) There’s not much to the character, but he does get points for nearly seducing Dawn into a life with fangs.

17. Turok-Han

20th Television

First appearance: “Never Leave Me”
Number of episodes: 7
So this isn’t one particular vampire so much as a species of vampire, lumped together to make things easier. The Turok-Han (or Ubervampire) is definitely scary and a worthy adversary for Buffy. At the same time, we were used to more intellectually stimulating vamps by Season 7. Not a huge fan of the strong silent type.

16. Jesse McNally

20th Television

First appearance: “Welcome to the Hellmouth”
Number of episodes: 2
Jesse isn’t a vampire when we first meet him, so I wasn’t sure about including him on this list. But he’s the first significant human we see turned, and his story — however briefly depicted — resonates throughout the series. How else to explain Xander’s disdain for vampires, particularly the “good” ones?

15. Dalton

20th Television

First appearance: “What’s My Line, Part One”
Number of episodes: 2
Some of you are probably scratching your heads to remember Dalton, but true Buffy fans know he stands out for two reasons: he wears glasses, and he loves to read. In fact, something about his literacy made him less than soulless — that’s how The Judge was able to kill him. Poor Dalton.

14. Zachary Kralik

20th Television

First appearance: “Helpless”
Number of episodes: 1
Few one-off vampires make the impression that Zachary did — it helps that he prattled on about his weird Oedipal urges toward the mother that castrated him. It’s all very dark, especially for Season 3 Buffy. The creepy Jeff Kober returned as Willow’s magic crack dealer in Season 6.

13. Anne Pratt

20th Television

First appearance: “Lies My Parents Told Me”
Number of episodes: 1
Hey, speaking of Oedipal issues, let’s talk about Spike’s mom. As a human, she was overbearing, but as a vampire, she’s seriously disturbing. Her transition from sweet and feeble old lady to highly sexualized evil demon accounts for at least some of Spike’s damage.

12. Mr. Trick

20th Television

First appearance: “Faith, Hope & Trick”
Number of episodes: 5
As Mr. Trick noted, there’s not a whole lot of diversity in Sunnydale. As such, it would have been nice if he’d had stayed around longer, but alas, he was one of several baddies who didn’t make it through Season 3. At least we’ll always have his perfect introduction, in which he ate a fast food employee.

11. Vampire Xander

20th Television

First appearance: “The Wish”
Number of episodes: 1
What is it about Vampire Xander that makes him so much sexier than regular Xander? It’s not the bumpy forehead, so I’m going to go ahead and guess it’s the leather. Either way, Xander’s vampire form was a fun switch from his usual role as the Zeppo. Too bad he never made another appearance.

10. Holden Webster

20th Television

First appearance: “Conversations With Dead People”
Number of episodes: 1
It’s pretty amazing how quickly Holden figured Buffy out — in their fight to the death, he psychoanalyzed the Slayer with incredibly accuracy, and we ended up learning a lot about her (and how her mind works) in the process. It’s obvious why she had to kill him, but couldn’t he have stuck around for a little while longer?

9. Sunday

20th Television

First appearance: “The Freshman”
Number of episodes: 1
And here she is — everyone’s favorite single-episode vampire. Sunday had so much potential that it’s hard to believe they got rid of her so quickly. In an otherwise dull hour (“The Freshman” is so mediocre) she fast emerged as a snarky and dangerous foe. But hey, she got some great one liners before she bit it.

8. Dracula

20th Television

First appearance: “Buffy vs. Dracula”
Number of episodes: 1
OK, technically, Dracula is a single-episode vampire, too. But he’s Dracula, which means the same rules don’t apply. Even if his appearance on Buffy was brief, he carries a whole lot of mythology with him. Plus, he reappeared in the comics, wearing Gary Oldman’s ridic get-up from Bram Stoker’s Dracula, no less.

7. The Master

20th Television

First appearance: “Welcome to the Hellmouth”
Number of episodes: 9
The Master set the tone for much of what we’d eventually come to expect from Buffyverse villains — he was equal parts terrifying and hilarious, always accompanying his brutal maiming with a well-timed quip. That’s part of why it was so fun to see his cameo appearances. And yes, he has total fruit punch mouth.

6. Harmony Kendall

20th Television

First appearance: “The Harvest”
Number of episodes: 15
Like Jesse, Harmony wasn’t a vampire at first — in fact, we got to know her fairly well before she was turned. Her character arc is actually fascinating, and while she didn’t quite find redemption on Angel, she did prove once and for all that she was more than Cordelia’s lackey. Also worth remembering: her slap fight with Xander.

5. Darla

20th Television

First appearance: “Welcome to the Hellmouth”
Number of episodes: 5
Here’s the thing about Darla — she was way cooler on Angel than she ever was on Buffy. But since we’re only focusing on the original series and not its spin-off, she’ll have to content herself with being #5 on the list. Definite bonus points for being the first vampire we see, though.

4. Drusilla

20th Television

First appearance: “School Hard”
Number of episodes: 17
Again, I’m going only by what we see on Buffy — but do check out Dru and Darla on Angel, because they’re amazing. Drusilla’s unique brand of crazy and foresight make her frightening but also really fun at parties. While she never quite captured my heart the way she did Spike’s, she’s certainly memorable.

3. Vampire Willow

20th Television

First appearance: “The Wish”
Number of episodes: 2
As hot as Vampire Xander is, Vampire Willow is on a different Scoville scale entirely. She made an impression in “The Wish,” but it’s her return to Sunnydale proper in “Doppelgangland” that made her a forever favorite. She’s crafty, seductive, and yes, a little gay. In fact, she foreshadows a lot of what Willow becomes: “Bored now.”

2. Angel

20th Television

First appearance: “Welcome to the Hellmouth”
Number of episodes: 56
No, Angel’s not #1 — and at this point, all you Bangel fans are shaking your fists at the heavens. But really, there’s no shame in coming in second. Angel is obviously pivotal to Buffy’s development: her first love, her first heartbreak, her first I-had-sex-with-you-and-you-lost-your-soul drama. He also got a pretty great spin-off of his own.

1. Spike

20th Television

First appearance: “School Hard”
Number of episodes: 97
Yes, Spike wins in the end. I’m not saying Buffy chooses him over Angel — I mean, she does, but that’s another conversation. I’m saying he’s the most compelling vampire. His arc from lovesick poet to brutal vampire to begrudging ally to souled hero is truly something to behold, and Buffy wouldn’t be the same show without it.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

          
    Now Buzzing