Here’s the new poster for “Scary Movie V.”
1. OK, just a few questions.
1. Is Ted the Bear smoking weed? How is that a parody? He smoked weed in Ted.
2. Is Katrina Bowden’s tongue a Fuit Roll-Up? It’s definitely not a tongue.
3. Speaking of, is Katrina going to stay put or will she randomly vanish like Cerie on 30 Rock?
4. If Ashley Tisdale is sitting sideways, why is her head facing forward like that? Oh my God, is she possessed?
5. Why does Mike Tyson get to have an acting career?
6. Who is tweaking Mike Tyson’s nipple? (Mystery solved — it’s Mike Tyson.)
7. Where the hell is Lindsay Lohan?
8. Is Charlie Sheen doing the popcorn trick, and if so, why is he sitting next to young children? Upsetting.
9. If Katt Williams’ bible says “I put the sin in sinister,” do you think he’s fun at church?
10. Do any of these people know they’re part of a terrible franchise?
11. What outdated movie monster parody is pulling everyone in for a hug?
12. SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS LINDSAY.
Scary Movie 5 hits theaters April 19.
- Former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore is dropping out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. He got 133 votes in New Hampshire.
- MLB issued its first-ever lifetime ban for performance enhancing drugs to New York Mets' Jenrry Mejia.
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz.