Anaesthetic Gangs Are Dope But Not Cool

Mickey Pyjamason (7) used to enjoy eating Oreos and playing ‘cops and robbers’ with his Teddy before he became addicted to pethidine. Now he and Teddy are on the run from the real cops. It all started when Mickey was initiated into an Anaesthetic Gang while undergoing a reverse tooth-whitening procedure in the Main Operating Theatre. “I had no choice”, says Mickey. “They asked me if I liked dinosaurs and then they told me to count to ten. When I woke up my mommy was gone and I was scared.” Anesthetic Gangs often prey on the hemodynamically and emotionally unstable. ‘Spider Nevus’ (not his real name) is a member of the infamous 0,9% gang and says that his gang controls three quarters of the crystalloid market. He wears a scrub top with the sleeves torn off and the trademark puppies and skulls bandana. He points to a tattoo of a cat with its eyes crossed out on his cubital fossa and says “We all have needs, aspirations - reasons to wake up from a coma. We think of ourselves as ‘incentivised consciousness'.” Spider explains how they exchange Meowbags (Ketamine + Voluven + Orange juice) for sexual favours, cigarettes and Crocs. “If we haven’t put you under, you’re going down”, smirks Spider as he tightens his Finding Nemo touniquet.

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