1. You know your reasons for loving to stay in may sound lame, but this is your idea of heaven:
There is literally nothing else you could tempt me with.
2. Home isn’t just a place where you veg out. You have a multitude of productive at-home activities, thank you very much.
While you were out drinking, I created some very intricate nail art, made a DIY spice rack, organized my sock drawer, and had time to make gourmet mac ‘n cheese.
3. However, vegging out at home is THE BEST. This is you two seconds after you walk in the door Friday evening.
What up, couch?
4. Just the thought of having to get dressed up to go out is exhausting.
Like, just no.
5. When your friends have managed to drag you out, it’s often way less fun than being at home. WAY. LESS. FUN.
YOU ARE ALL LIARS.
6. And when you’re out, you often begin daydreaming about being back home.
Home sweet motherfucking home…
7. When you hear about how “crazy” your friends’ Saturday was and how they were out all night, all you can think is, Well, good for you.
No, really, glad you had a good time. So did I. Sitting right here.
8. As for travel, you take vacation time for staycations.
Welcome to paradise. Cost: Nothing.
9. And even when you do travel, you usually reach a point where you’re done.
Maybe I’d enjoy this more if I’d spent more time at home first.
10. You’ve been known to not leave the house for days at a time.
And what of it???
11. And your local delivery person knows who you are. (And possibly goes the extra mile because you’re such a good customer.)
12. When your friends and family don’t understand why you stayed in all weekend, you have to offer explanations they can understand:
No, really. I. Don’t. Mind.
13. And when people give you shit for being a shut-in, you’ll passionately defend your reasons.
I LOVE MY HOME AND ALL WHO DO NOT MAY PERISH IN A FIREY HELL.
14. You sometimes make plans based on how far away from home they are.
Party destinations are commutes, too.
15. You seriously don’t see the point of going out to the movies when you have a perfectly good TV at home. Where you don’t have to sit in a room with annoying strangers.
Unless it’s The Hunger Games, I can wait until it’s on iTunes.
16. If you have bitchy resting face, home is a place of relief, where you can let your bitchface bitch.
17. Maybe your home is the only place you can let your inner freak out. So of course it’s where you always want to be.
“Yeah, sorry I can’t make it to your thing. I’ve got a ton to do at home … like DANCE.”