19 Signs You Were A Brummie Teenage Goth

Aren’t you ‘ot in all that black, bab?

1. You told your parents you were staying at a mate’s house when you were actually moshing at XLs.


The fag smell always came out of your Punkyfish top with a bit of Impulse.

2. Although sometimes you mixed it up and went to Scruffy Murphy’s.

3. But you were most likely to get served at The Flapper and Firkin, Birmingham’s answer to idyllic canal-side drinking.


You’d nurse a Guinness for hours in an attempt to avoid the entry fee when the bands came on.

4. You shed a tear when Edward’s Number 8 burnt down.

And subsequently when most of Birmingham’s best rock clubs closed down, one by one.

5. But you always had Snobs.

It was OK to mellow out to a bit of indie disco when vodka lemonades are only a quid.

6. The Oasis was your Mecca.

Where else could you buy Cradle of Filth postcards, beaded jewellery, a leather catsuit, get a tattoo, and have a cuppa?

7. You pretended to be Nancy from The Craft in Anna Bee’s Top Rock boutique.

Columbia Pictures /


8. And tried on every pair of black buckle boots downstairs.

But your pocket money never actually allowed you to buy anything.

9. Of course, you couldn’t leave without enjoying a ciggie and a cuppa at Oscar’s.

You went twos on a Breville (which they refused to call a toastie), a cup of tea, and a cadged Sovereign.

10. Lurking around the metal section in Swordfish made you feel like a serious muso.

You could often be found in Reddington’s Rare Records too.

11. And you looked for bootleg tapes at the old Rag Market.

But you always left with a secondhand Nirvana CD.

12. But most of your CDs actually came from Tower Records.

You’re very upset that it’s now an Urban Outfitters.

13. You got your bellybutton pierced at Toxic Shock.

Oddly, you never questioned the gross shop name as someone drove a needle through your bellybutton.

14. You were desperate for a tribal tattoo.

But you made do with a plastic tattoo choker because you were worried you’d get grounded.

15. Vintage shopping meant sniffing out the darkest clothes at YoYo.


16. Of course you bought jeans from Cult Clothing that were wide enough to fit a family into.

That shop is dead to you now that it’s reopened in the new Bullring.

17. The closest you ever got to playing sport was watching the skaters from the steps at Central Library.

18. But mostly you just hung out around the graves in pigeon park.

While eating a Maccy’s Happy Meal, of course.

19. And, of course, you have a story about the time Robert Plant sat on your leather jacket at a gig.

Rick Diamond / Getty

Because every Brummie does.

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