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65 Thoughts Every Girl Has When Getting Ready

I have nothing to wear.

1. I should make a playlist for the shower.
2. Holy SHIT that’s hot water. Better turn that down.
3. OH HELL YES T-SWIFT! This is my jam.
4. Spotify commercials are the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.
5. Which shampoo should I use today?
6. My roommate’s shampoo looks cooler than mine. :(
7. I should put a chair in the shower when I’m shaving my legs.
8. Forget shaving my knees. Not even gonna try.
9. OUCH.
10. Is it humanly possible to shave without cutting myself?
11. Maybe I should buy shaving cream.
12. But it’s so expensive. Ugh.
13. I could probably buy a dress at Target instead.
14. I read in a magazine that I should keep my conditioner on for 1–2 minutes. How long is that even?

15. Has it been a minute yet?
16. Maybe I should try putting some conditioner on my cuts?
17. That didn’t help.
18. Ohhh there’s a lot of blood.
19. I should exfoliate my skin.
20. How does this even work?
21. UGH I DROPPED IT. Now I have to bend over and try not to get my hair wet.
22. Shit. Now I just have to wash it all out. I don’t think that was 2 minutes.
23. Ahhhh it feels soooo soft.
24. THIS IS MY JAM!! I can’t get out yet. I guess I’ll just wash my body again real quick.
25. HOW IS MY LEG STILL BLEEDING?
26. Omg I only shaved one armpit.
27. I’ll just shave it at the sink later before I go.

28. I should put some lotion on.
29. Oh shit are my blinds open?!
30. SORRY, NEIGHBORS!
31. My skin is sooo soft.
32. Woah, it’s kind of cold. I have goosebumps.
33. COOL, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF SHAVING MY LEGS?

Universal Pictures

34. Ugh. Whatever. Still better than before.
35. I have no idea what to wear.
36. I should text my friends and see what they think.
37. In the meantime, I’ll just blow dry my hair! I’ll get that fresh blowout look.
38. Hair dressers are obviously magicians. WTF is my hair right now?
39. Looks like I might be wearing it up.
40. What’s the weather going to be like today? Can I wear a scarf?
41. Ugh, I have nothing to wear.

Warner Bros. Television

42. I should go shopping.
43. Maybe I’ll just look online for some inspiration real quick.
44. SHIT, I only have 30 minutes until I have to leave. I should try and straighten this hair monstrosity.
45. OMG OUCHHHHHHH. My straightener gets hot so fast.
46. Please don’t let that be a zit coming in.
47. Life is so unfair. I’m not even on my period! Why am I breaking out?
48. Good lord, I need to pluck my eyebrows.
49. THIS HURTS.
50. Why am I crying?
51. I think I might’ve gone too thin. Ugh. I hope no one notices.

52. I seriously have nothing to wear.
53. I should wear my favorite black top. It always works.
54. WHERE IS THAT SHIRT?
55. Maybe it’s in the wash.
56. I mean, it’s not THAT dirty…
57. Smells fine. I’ll just spray it.
58. That was a lot of spray. I should run around real quick.
59. TGFF. (Thank god for foundation.)
60. What are these bags under my eyes? Like, I slept for 10 hours last night, body. Cooperate.
61. Maybe I should try a smoky eye look.
62. BAD IDEA.
63. I look like I have a black eye.
64. I should just go natural today.
65. This is as good as it’s gonna get and it’s pretty damn good.

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