1. “You’re being moody. Is it that time of the month?”
OMG! You figured it out! You got me!
2. *Any form of catcall*
R E S P E C T, find out what it means to women.
3. *In response to being catcalled* “But it’s kind of flattering, right?”
You. Cannot. Be. Serious.
4. “You look tired!”
You look like an asshole!
7. “Why are you eating a salad? Why are you eating a burger? Are you on a diet?”
Why are you so concerned with what I’m eating? Get a hobby.
8. “Don’t cut your hair, you’ll look like a boy.”
Thanks for your opinion on my life that doesn’t matter at all.
10. “Oh, you’re a sports fan, huh?” *quizzes you on sports*
Yes, quizzing me will determine whether or not I’m a REAL SPORTS FAN. Very important.
11. “Can’t I just give you a compliment?”
No. You can’t.
12. “You sure you can carry that?”
YEP, PRETTY SURE.
13. “You don’t have much time left to have children.”
You don’t have much time left before I realize you suck and never talk to you again.
14. “You curse/eat/drink a lot for a girl.”
You talk too much, period.
15. “Let me help you with that.”
Are you demanding or asking?
16. “You should wear your hair down more.”
You should talk less!!
17. “Are you sure you should do that alone?”
Are you sure you should continue talking to me?
18. “You’re being too picky.”
It’s this little thing I call “having standards.”
19. “Is this some sort of feminist thing?”
No, it’s more like I have respect for human beings and YOU SHOULD TOO.
20. “Don’t get all feminist on me!”
OK, don’t get all asshole on me.
21. “Calm down.”
Well, I was calm, until you told me to calm down.
22. “Relax, it was just a joke.”
Oh, weird, I thought jokes were supposed to be funny.