1. Have you ever said no when you were offered pizza?
If you have refused a slice, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?
2. What kind of beans do you get at Chipotle?
3. Have you ever chose to listen to Nickelback?
And yes, middle school counts.
4. Do you hashtag in texts?
“Ironically hashtagging” counts.
6. Have you ever texted “lol” and not laughed out loud?
I don’t like liars.
7. Do you have your “read” receipts on?
If so, you are the literal devil.
8. Do you put empty milk cartons back in the fridge?
If yes, YOU ARE THE REASON FOR THE TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR.
9. Do you take bites of food without asking?
Don’t fucking touch my food.
10. Do you talk during movies?
Nothing you have to say is important enough that it can’t wait two hours.
11. Do you chew loudly?
:: begs you to say no ::
12. Do you leave voicemails?
:: starts convulsing ::
13. Have you ever said no to ice cream?
Do you hate smiling?
14. Have you ever taken a shirtless selfie?
If yes, are you a tween?
15. Have you ever ordered regular fries instead of curly fries?
16. Do you spell out the word “you” when texting?
Because otherwise are your thumbs REALLY that tired?
17. Do you consistently let your phone battery fall below 20%?
:: starts foaming at the mouth ::
18. Do you like to touch people with your feet?
KEEP YOUR FEET AWAY FROM ME.
:: passes out ::
19. Do you leave the door open when you are peeing?
Please, please, please, please no.
20. Do you recite movie quotes throughout daily conversation?
:: kill me now ::
21. And, are you more of a Stark or a Lannister?
Correct response: Stark in the streets, Lannister in the sheets AMIRITE?
- One person was killed and two others were seriously injured Friday when an air medical transport helicopter crashed in Colorado.