55 Questions Everyone Asks After College

Should I know what the hell I’m doing with my life?

1. What is a 401(k)?
2. My student loans are HOW MUCH a month?
3. What do you mean I need to get on my own phone plan?
4. Can I take a nap?
5. What were all those forms I just signed?
6. What do you mean by “good health plan”?
7. Why does going to the dentist cost so much money?
8. What does this light in my car mean?!?!
9. Is that what I spent four years in college for?
10. Why did I want to graduate?
11. Can I buy a good credit score on the black market?
12. What about a retirement plan?
13. Should I be cleaning my oven?
14. How the hell do those people on House Hunters even afford a house at my age?
15. Should my car be making that noise?
16. Should I start eating kale?
17. Why does literally everything cost money?
18. Should I buy groceries or have a social life this week?
19. Should I be drinking something classier?
20. Should I start throwing dinner parties?
21. WHY WON’T ANYONE HIRE ME?
22. Should I stop staying out until 4 a.m.?
23. What the hell do people want in a cover letter, anyway?
24. What should my résumé actually look like?
25. Should I get out of bed?
26. Am I having a midlife crisis?
27. How do people just KNOW what they want to do?
28. Should I go to grad school?
29. How does anyone afford anything?
30. Should I sell plasma?
31. Why doesn’t anyone prepare you for this?
32. Why won’t anyone email me back about my applications?
33. Is this job application worth writing a cover letter for?
34. Am I ever going to find a job?
35. Why is chocolate so good at making me feel better?
36. What the fuck kind of interview question was that?
37. What do they mean by “writing samples?”
38. Should I delete that tweet?
39. Why hasn’t anyone liked my status yet?
40. Should I buy my own Netflix account or keep using my friend’s?
41. Should I get Tinder?
42. Is it normal to cry when paying my rent?
43. Should I do laundry or just buy more underwear?
44. Should I learn how to cook or just buy some Lean Cuisines?
45. Sneezing is working out, right?
46. Was that my refrigerator or an intruder?
47. Should I stop texting when I’m drinking?
48. Should I try online dating?
49. Should I get takeout?
50. Should I just have wine for dinner?
51. Why is Simply Orange $76?
52. How did I graduate college?
53. How did they get a job?
54. Why am I crying?
55. Should I know what the hell I’m doing with my life?

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