1. Thinking that one fight means a relationship is doomed.
“If it’s true love, it’s easy and simple and there are no problems forever!” — You, probably while you still had a locker combo to remember.
2. Thinking that one fart means a relationship is doomed.
Nay, it is actually the beginning of a beautiful fart-ship.
3. Telling all your close friends your S.O.’s secrets.
That moment when your friend drunkenly lets slip a piece of info about your boo’s parents’ divorce and you argue all the way home. CLASSIC.
4. Not being on the same page about holiday gift-giving.
For some people, Valentine’s Day is the Christmas of feelings, and when you don’t show up with a sack full of flowers and chocolate, your S.O. feels like they’re finding out that Santa isn’t real all over again.
5. Assuming that everyone is OK with your PDA… including social media PDA.
When someone wants to hang out in your pants all the time, it’s very tempting to immediately wallpaper your entire life with that fact. Until the unfollows start rolling in.
6. Assuming that the other person is going to plan all the dates.
No one told you this before you got into a relationship, but planning all the dates all the time is kiiiinnnnd of a total chore.
7. Not establishing rules about when or how it’s cool to talk to your ex.
“Because why would that ever come up?” —You. Silly, silly you.
8. When you assume that your new S.O. is grandfathered into all your current wedding invitations.
Not only is this annoying for the bride and groom, but informing your new S.O. that they must be at a 4th of July destination wedding that will cost them $500 is a fast train to fight town.
9. Keeping it to yourself when you’re mad at your S.O.
You are not a secret agent. They figure you out pretty fast.
10. Thinking that your S.O.’s definition of “clean” is your definition of “clean.”
It usually is not.
11. Automatically assuming that you both want the same amount of sex.
“All grown-ups have sex every night, right?”
12. When you pretend to like something your S.O. likes.
This is something that comes back to bite you in the ass every year when you shell out another $$$$ in concert/movie/vacation tickets.
13. Telling them about your celebrity crush too early.
In a year, it’s funny. On the third date, it creates a black hole of insecurity that you S.O. never crawls out of.
14. Saying “I love you” way too early or way too late.
LOL, when you thought you were in love after three dates.
15. Temporarily forgetting about your friends.
And then making it worse by only talking about your S.O. with them, BARF CITY.
16. When you lie about the type of sex stuff you like.
When you are convinced that you are secretly disgusting because you are the ONLY ONE ON EARTH who is into a weird sex thing.
Even though there’s like 4939349837434 videos of it on the internet, so someone else must be watching it too.
17. When you try to live together with another roommate or another couple.
Sometimes this is unavoidable, but once you get a taste of being able to hang out on your couch with no pants, you never go back.
18. When you try to wear something just because you think your partner will like it.
Because then what happens is that your partner DOES like it, and then you have to wear it all the time, and then you want to kill them.
19. When you try to spend more money than you actually have in order to seem impressive.
That moment after first meeting someone when you’re so happy that your brain forgets you aren’t actually on vacation, and you blow $2,000 on dinner and outfits and movies and you end up on the street.
20. When you think that “Significant Other” is code for “Free Backrub Machine.”
This will turn them into a “Free Breakup Machine.”