1. Spending two hours digging out a parking space, only to have someone else take it from you.
2. Derrick Rose never playing basketball again.
It’s like seeing Space Jam except with a tragic ending.
5. Being stranded on Lakeshore Drive during a blizzard.
6. Being in line behind tourists at The Wiener Circle.
Yes, I know, you are so delighted with being insulted, but seriously, listen to the smart lady and JUST ORDER YOUR DAMN HOT DOG.
7. That one of these cars is going to back up too hard one of these days.
8. That the weather you dress for when you wake up will not be the weather it is by 11:30 a.m.
9. Icicles falling onto your head off of high-rise buildings.
11. Being anywhere near the river crowds on St. Patrick’s Day.
12. Ruthless gangs of pigeons, who are probably coming for you.
13. That every Chicago politician is even more corrupt than we think they are.
Miegs field, anyone?
14. Accidentally ending up in Grant Park during festival season.
You know what’s fun? Eating things when you’re sweaty and hot.
15. Having a dog who absolutely hates the snow and refuses to walk in it.
16. Cubs fans who have been drinking for longer than 10 innings.
Because win or lose, here come a herd of emotional wrecks.
17. Getting your hopes up about the Chicago Bears’ quarterback.
18. Anyone ever referring to you as a Lincoln Park Trixie or Chad.
NO. NO NO NO NO. Back away from the bottle of Early Times, old sir and/or ma’am.
19. Being on your way to somewhere professional, and finding yourself ass-first in some black ice.
20. Coming back to your car to see that horrible yellow boot on it.
21. Or having your car towed to some random place because there’s a public works project going on and they “forgot” to put up signs.
22. Having problems with your Ventra card if there’s anywhere you need to be in a hurry.
I bet you tell all the cardholders that they’re valued, don’t you?
24. Construction happening on both the Kennedy AND the Dan Ryan. At the same time.
25. Wrigleyville whenever any Chicago team wins anything.
Forget it, everyone. It’s Wrigleyville.
26. Parking your car somewhere overnight, and coming out to find it like this:
This only happens when you’re already late for work and/or school.