1. When your parent discovers the world of online dating.
Or worse, Tinder. Please undiscover Tinder.
2. When your parent manages to get more dates than you do.
3. When either of you mentions going on a third date with anyone, and you both have to pretend that nothing important happened.
When they were married, you could just pretend they never had sex!
4. When your parent starts acting like the two of you are bachelor friends.
5. When your parent dates people who are at all close in age to you.
6. When they think it would be fun to “try speed dating together.”
No thanks, speed dating can do bad all by itself.
7. When your parent introduces you to someone they’re dating… and you don’t approve of them.
8. When your mom insists that you come along for “girls’ night.”
9. When your parent tells you that marriage is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Great… so I have that to look forward to.
10. When your parents ask you for relationship advice.
I realize my relationship record is better than yours, Dad, but that’s only because I’ve had fewer chances to fail.
11. When your mom always wants to talk…about how the guy she’s seeing never calls her back.
Join the club, lady.
12. When your dad grows a moustache, and dashes your dreams of being more attractive with a moustache.
Or reminds you that guys still think that they might be more attractive with moustaches.
13. When your parents make the same dating mistakes that you’re currently making.
Dad, I know for a fact that you don’t have a time share in Maui… but if you’d like to buy one that I can say is mine, that would be helpful right now k thx.
14. Seeing your parent try to flirt with anyone… and realizing that you have the same ridiculous moves they do.
Because of fucking course you do, where do you think you got it from?
15. When you realize that you and your mom talk to each other mostly about your cats.
16. When you tell your parent to break it off with someone for doing something that you tolerate all the time.
17. Whenever anyone weird insists that you and your mom “could be sisters.”
18. When you see them struggle, and you realize that there is no magic age where dating starts becoming easier.
- The death penalty should still be considered for Colorado theater shooter James Holmes, a jury decided.
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