1. Even if you’ve found the perfect bra, it will only last for a year. TOPS.
2. Bras have the most inconsistent and confusing sizing system of any clothing item, ever, on the entire planet.
You might have bras in 5 different sizes, because not all D cups are created D-qual.
3. If you are any size that is outside the norm, you’re not going to be able to find anything at the mall.
4. And if your cups are on the smaller side, it can be hard to find bras that aren’t absurdly padded…
6. Your bra size fluctuates with even the slightest bit of weight gain or loss, which means you may have to buy them on the regular.
Not to mention what happens to them during your menstrual cycle…
7. If you’re a little lopsided (like a lot of people are) every bra you try on will only truly fit one boob.
8. You will see dozens and dozens of colorful options, all of which will be too colorful to actually wear under clothes.
9. The person fitting your bras will throw you an epic amount of shade about how crappy your current bra is.
Like, seriously, we know, that’s sort of why we’re here.
10. Or worse, they will actually try to measure your bra size over your clothes.
That will be perfect for all the times I plan on wearing my bras over my clothes and other bra!
11. You will have to try on mountains upon mountains of boob holders in order to find one that fits.
12. And because they are bras, they will all be hella complicated to get on. You will be trying on bras for thousands of years.
13. When you decide to try on a bra with no padding, and the wrinkles in the cup make your boobs look like an old piece of fruit.
14. You also have to make sure your bra isn’t too tight, making you look like you have four boobs instead of two.
Less is more.
15. Finding a strapless bra that doesn’t want to turn into a Hula-Hoop is super fun, and not at all time consuming.
16. And then there is trying to find a bra for outfits that don’t really want you to wear a bra.
That will definitely not fall off my chest in the middle of a party, nope.
17. When you finally find a bra that fits you, and then you look at the price tag.
And then you die.
18. And even though you know you can’t afford it… you have to buy it anyway.
Because it’s a bra, and you sort of need those.
19. But no matter how much money you spend, it won’t be long before the underwire starts to poke out…
20. Or the band will rip.
21. Or the clasp at the back will be all like BYE BYE, I’m all done with you now!
22. Or your bra splits in half.
23. Or your straps will decide to just break up with the rest of the bra.
24. And literally overnight, that beautiful bra you spent serious dollars on becomes a total piece of garbage.
How does this happen? How?