1. You will sit in the waiting room for a long, long time...
2. ...because your appointment is never at the time it's supposed to be at.
3. Getting weighed, unexpectedly.
4. When they finally call you into the little room, everything seems overly ominous.
5. When they ask how much alcohol you drink, and you don't know whether to lie or not.
6. Being asked by the nurse to get undressed and not knowing how much underwear to leave on.
7. Putting on that paper gown, knowing full well that everyone can see your butt.
8. The epic wait between when the nurse tells you that the doctor will be right in, and when the doctor ACTUALLY shows up.
9. Accidentally making eye contact with the doctor while they're examining you.
10. Charts and pamphlets that explain things you did not want explained.
11. When your doctor reveals that they don't really know what's wrong with you.
12. Being told that you'll need "a whole series of tests," which you know will be crazy expensive.
13. When your doctor "wants to rule out some things," and you interpret it to mean that you are most assuredly dying.
14. Realizing that more than one test means trekking all over the goddamn medical complex.
15. Needing to pee in a cup, and NOT BEING ABLE TO PEE IN THE CUP.
Seriously, body, this is why we can't have nice things.
16. Oh, God. The needles. Why must getting better involve needles?
17. A nurse will flick your veins. This will be surprisingly painful.
18. Holding still for X-rays. You are just the worst at holding still.
19. Realizing that one 15 minute appointment has taken up the better part of a day.
20. Being told, after all that, that you need to come back 4-6 weeks later.
