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3 Ridiculous Movies Made By The Film Studio That Rick Santorum Now Runs

Rick Santorum was recently made CEO of Echolight Studios, which bills itself as a studio that makes “high-quality movies for families of faith.” Only the faith part of that statement is true.

1. 1. 3 Day Test, a family comedy in which Martin is a dad convinced that too much technology is what’s keeping his kids from wanting to hang out with him. So, he decides to bring his family closer together…

2. …by turning off the power, water, and heat to their house, and locking everyone inside. For three days. Over Christmas.

What this Christmas needs is some CHILD ENDANGERMENT.

3. This film also contains some potty humor.

4. 2. Beyond the Heavens, in which Oliver is a boy struggling to choose between faith and science.

Also, how are NONE of the four floating heads on this poster matched with the correct name?

5. His attempts to disprove the existence of God include looking through a microscope and staring at a leaf through a magnifying glass.

Maybe God is very tiny?

6. To guide Oliver back to Team Faith, an angel comes down from heaven… in a noticeably grainy scene that looks suspiciously like ripped-off Russian dash cam footage of the Chelyabinsk meteor explosion.

7. The angel then thinks a good way to earn Oliver’s trust is by knocking on his window late at night, dressed as Rasputin.

Unfortunately, he ends up being right.

8. 3. Seasons of Gray is a modern retelling of the story of Joseph (now called Brady), the poor dude who gets sold into slavery by his brothers because he gets a Rainbow Coat and they do not.

Except this time, they are cowboys!

9. Brady’s brothers hate him because he got a free truck…

OH HELL NO.

10. …and also because he is a smug jerk.

12. Eventually his brothers get tired of his crap, and he gets banished to work in a mail room.

This actually happens.

13. In time, a kindly love interest takes him under her wing, and makes him over into a young Rob Lowe.

14. But what redemptive story isn’t complete without a vindictive false rape accusation/stint in jail, first?

15. Shoulda never taken that truck, dude.

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