Meet The Savior Of All (One) Goldfish
AKA that one time Tumblr user z33r0 stole a goldfish from a party.
“So this past weekend I was at a house party and happened to see the single most miserably neglected fish I have ever seen in my life. The water had an opaque layer of something that looked kind of like grease on top and the single fish inside was listless and shrivelled. It smelled FOUL and the guy hosting the party said that they had noticed the fish being kind of stupid since they had changed the water last time (which must have been like a fucking year ago) by just running the tub into the tank.
Being full of whiskey and compassion(?), I naturally decided that the fish was now mine and reached into that disgusting cesspool with a ziplock bag, took the fish home, cackling to myself because what I was doing was just so weird.”
“The next day I went out and got a tank, like, I dropped 100$ for a stolen goldfish that cost 4.38$ at PetSmart. I went to a locally owned small pet shop called Paws N’ Jaws and the woman there was super helpful and even gave me some free plants with the tank. Ended up being up til like 2 in the morning with school the next day at 8 setting the stupid thing up, panicking about dechlorinating the water etc etc.”
His temporary home, pre-fish tank.
“These are his new digs, live plants, snaily companions. He’s perked up A LOT since being moved to an environment that actually has oxygen in the water, and has shown marked improvement in his ability to eat. For the first day or so, his motor skills appeared to be completely fucked up and he had a hard time swimming and eating, he would suck up food and then just spit it right back out. Now he’s having a great time, eating well harassing the snails, trying to eat the plants and zipping around the tank for no apparent reason like a moron, but a happy moron. I really enjoy watching him.. or her.”
“Admittedly I might have done this even if I had been sober, but I like to think this is proof that not ALL decisions made when drunk are bad ones. I regret nothing.”
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jamiew33 2 months agoHope you got a filter for the tank… or it’s going to look like the tank you stole it from VERY quickly, and the fish will die from lack of oxygen. The water needs to be flowing for it to properly aerate. The plants will produce a little oxygen, but not enough to sustain the fish. Good luck
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Bobbie Mullins 2 months agoI wish I’d had the nerve to do this when I was “guppysitting” for a friend’s goldfish who lived in a tiny glass bowl that was filled with water so putrid you could barely see the fish. All I did was feed the fish and change the water (which you have to do very carefully, by the way). Of course, the fish later died because they didn’t continue to provide clean water. Fish can’t survive in bowls, people. They need nice big tanks with filters like this gal bought. Good on her.
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PatriciaCarol 2 months ago
This is the best thing I’ve read all day! Most people don’t think about fish, but they are smart and social, and forcing them to live in gross dirty water is cruel. Yay, Goldfish Goddess!
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Sonik 2 months ago
You do realize that you STOLE someone else’s property right?
Not only do i think you over exaggerated on this story to cover up your drunken guilt. But i also think that i highly doubt that the tank was as dirty as you claim.
Owning a pet is a big responsibility no doubt. However, what gives you the right to STEAL someone else’s pet?
Do you know the situation why the fish bowl was like that?
Maybe, they had been working for weeks on end to make rent and enough money to eat that by the time they came home all they wanted was to pass out?
How about, they for once had a little bit of fun after working soo much to make ends meet and had some people over. Only to find out that some CUNT decided that it was her duty to save a pet that she had no background information on?
If i was the owner of this goldfish, this chick would be getting a phone call from a lawyer in the morning.
In Canada, a lawsuit of this nature would not happen. But as this happened in the good ole U S of A! I say, charge this bitch…
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brandylynkayc 2 months agoyou are a right foul git Sonic, and obviously have serious anger issues. it’s a fish, it’s happy, the story is adorable, the supposedly “overworked” previous owner no longer has the fish to worry about (in between the enormous amount of rent you believe they’re paying) you look like a hate filled tool bag.
it’s a win for everyone. -
christy scarvelli 2 months ago
Uh … being exhausted to the point of passing out is ZERO excuse for neglecting a pet. There is no reasonable explaination for the fish’s home, in which he/she is completely dependant on a human being to maintain, to be filthy. And any decent pet owner knows that their ‘for once’ fun is to come AFTER their responsibilities. As far as background information … like what? If the fish was on meds?? Allergic to clean water? Needed to remain in it’s own filth and fecies as a form of therapy? Seriously, who crapped in your Cheerios this morning … maybe they were just too busy and celebratory to go to the toilet …
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marshalls3 2 months agoHahaha good job!! God bless you… All creatures, big and small deserve life. I drunkenly took a puppy home once… 5 years later, she’s my best friend and companion. Love her.
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Sonik 2 months ago
I Agree that all animals big or small deserve to be happy and have a great life.
However…
You DRUNKENLY took a puppy home!!!??
YOU STOLE AN ANIMAL that did NOT belong to YOU!!!???
You are a thief… Plain and simple.
You can not justify your actions at all…
Imagine going into a pet store, and your “idea” or “soberness” of treating an animal well is not the same as the owner and you decide to steal an animal… You would be flung in jail so fast that you would mind your business for the rest of your life -
christy scarvelli 2 months ago
There is no “idea” of treating an anmimal well! What the heck is your issue Sonik? Some people’s idea of treating a dog well is putting it on a two foot chain attached to a junked car in the middle of the desert with no water. So hell yeah take the puppy home! Steal it if it’s in the best interest of the living creature who is not being treated as such!!! (not that I’m condoning drunkenly taking a pet who very well could have been in a good situation and I highly reccomend calling the authorities, but I doubt they’d come for a fish) Also, pet stores get their puppies from puppy mills generally, so yeah they’ve got a pretty crappy begining, I say steal them too. The problem with too many people is they mind their business when they shouldn’t and get involved in things that are irrelevant. We know every move a celebrity makes and make sure everyone else does, but no one says a thing about the abuse or neglect of and animal next door. Ridiculous. At least this girls has some priorities in a semblence of order. I say good for her!!!!
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MaMaKiNg 2 months ago
One last note: I had talked to both her and her son on numerous occaisions about just enjoying the wildlife at the park but letting it be since they would inevitably die once they were brought home. Sadly she couldnt care less and taught her son the same. Therefore my sneaky rescues were all that was left
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MaMaKiNg 2 months ago
I have rescued many a mistreated animal in my lifetime. The most recent was 2 yrs ago, scum of the earth moved in temporarily next door to me. While at the park with her son, she would find various animals and bring them home for her sons entertainment. I saw turtles living in cardboard boxes or small plastic storage bins and a tadpole living in about 2 cups of water in a bait bucket. I released all of the turtles and one day when she wasnt home, I found the tadpole in the bait bucket sitting in the sun on her porch. Luckily I have woods and a creek on my property. We took and released that little feller into the creek and laid the bait bucket on its side. She was sure a cat had eaten it..and didnt mind a bit. Glad I was able to intervene on all of the animals she stole and assaulted in the brief time I knew her
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