1. Wait your turn or a green evil monkey in a turban will make this face at you.
2. Do not help old ladies across the street unless you want a purse to the face.
3. Not even superpowers will help you figure out boys.
4. Getting older isn’t the same thing as growing up.
7. Or don’t. That’s good too.
8. Voodoo is not applicable to menial chores.
14. Always trust an adult whose face you’ve never seen.
15. The alternate universe version of you will inevitable be way more punk rock.
16. This is the most painful form of torture.
19. Ladies want you to talk science to them.
20. Some people are just meant to be followers.
21. The secret to perfect hair is to make sure it has a life of its own.
22. The band aid approach is the best way to deal with breakups.
23. Sometimes this is the best way to solve problems.
24. What you want is fortune, what you get is a platitude.
25. There are some problems that even castles can’t solve.
29. Those who seem the craziest often have the best advice.
30. There’s no such thing as a dumb question.
31. Just because someone like you hasn’t done it before doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t.
32. You can find anything on the internet.
34. You’re probably smarter than everyone else around you.
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