So you like to start group texts.
That's great. Technology is cool.
What a great way to stay in touch with all of your friends, right?
WRONG.
Why would you EVER do this to people you care about?
Don't you know you're literally taking people hostage?
You might think it's fun when you talk to one person in the group text about something that's only applicable to the two of you!
BUT IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT FUN.
Or maybe you're the worst kind of person and you create group texts with people WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER.
You are literally ruining lives (and by "lives" I mean phone battery lives).
Every minuscule detail of everyone's day finds its way into that group text.
PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, EMILY. WE CAN'T CATCH UP.
When someone can't make it out Friday, don't drunk-text updates to the group.
We should only use our group text in times of need — like when you find Joey Fatone on OkCupid.
Or to keep each other humble.
No one wants to wake up to this horror.
But there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.*
In conclusion, please don't do this.
Or we will be forced to leave group texts forever.
