“The fart lapse on Jack’s ‘silent but deadly’ was a full 8 seconds.”
“Courtney sleeps on her stomach to avoid getting armpitties.”
“Jim was postboned for his job interview by a quickie with Jennie.”
“Jim listed ‘fapidextrous’ on his resume under special skills.”
Roxy gets an ear boner every time I jiggle my bag of treats.
“Jennie dropped a bunch of ratchet-ass chicks in her last round of friendscaping.”
“Tom and Sue have been married so long, they only have ABC sex.”
“I literally cannot believe how many people misuse ‘literally.’”