"If you ponytail it and cut it, I'll kill you."
NSFW: Because, ya know, man sausages!
Best voice message ever.
"I feel like I'm dying..."
"Today was a fairy tale." —Doug
"Ok, now I'm getting pissed off. I'm not happy with this."
"Pinterest is not for people who want to cut corners, it's for people who want to look cute."