We Measured Our Employees' Penises To See If We Were Bigger Than The Rest Of The World

    Invasive investigations.

    Keith Habersberger
    by Keith Habersberger

    BuzzFeed Motion Pictures Staff

    View this video on YouTube
    youtube.com

    In case you missed it, "science" apparently declared the global averages of penis size.

    Zachary Gibson

    Also, they measured 15,000 penises to do this. Science.

    Also, these measurements are correct but these dicks are not to scale.

    ...but they made one fatal flaw. THEY DIDN'T ASK ANYONE AT BUZZFEED TO SUBMIT A MEASUREMENT.

    BuzzFeed / Via YouTube

    Dick move.

    So I took it upon myself to ask the men at BuzzFeed Motion Pictures about the size of their member.

    BuzzFeed / Via YouTube

    Here, Mason assures me that he is NOT lying.

    To ensure anonymity and honesty, I made a "Penis Size Submission Box."

    BuzzFeed / Via YouTube

    "What could be more inviting than this?" I said to myself loudly throughout the process of building it.

    After I gathered enough submissions, it was time for MATH.

    BuzzFeed / Via YouTube

    Converting decimals to fractions can be a crazy fun time.

    The math yielded some BIG results. Check out the video up top to see how BuzzFeed measured up.