1.
"Oh look, some delicious ice cream," says regular you.
"COME TO ME, MY FROZEN FRIEND. COME NUMB THE PAIN," heartbroken you cries into the vat of ice cream.
2.
"Better boot up the ol' laptop to check my social media," says regular you.
"OH DEAR GOD, THE STALKING MACHINE, TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME," heartbroken you shrieks.
3.
"Did I just get a text?" regular you asks, and casually walks to the next room to retrieve your cell phone.
"URRRGHGHRHGHG!!" heartbroken you gurgles as you knock everything over to get to your phone, positive that it's your ex.
4.
"Hello there, precious!" regular you says to your beloved pet.
"IT WAS LOVE, KITTY. IT WAS LOVE AND IT'S GONE," heartbroken you whispers into your pet's fur.
5.
"Great, a pharmacy! I need to stop in and pick up a few things," says regular you.
"SOMEWHERE I COULD POSSIBLY BUMP INTO MY EX, RUUUUUNNNNN!!" heartbroken you screams.
6.
"Ahh, a bar with a good happy hour, perfect!" says regular you.
"SOMEWHERE I COULD POSSIBLY BUMP INTO MY EX, RUUUUUNNNNN!!" heartbroken you screams.
7.
"What a lovely planet we live on," says regular you.
"SOMEWHERE I COULD POSSIBLY BUMP INTO MY EX, RUUUUUNNNNN!!" heartbroken you screams.
8.
"A beautiful invitation to my dear friend's wedding," says regular you.
"OH YAY, AN INVITE TO THE FIERY PITS OF HELL," heartbroken you hisses.
9.
"Ooo, some comfy sweatpants for a lazy Sunday afternoon," says normal you.
"WE ARE ONE, SWEATPANTS," heartbroken you bawls after five days of wearing the same pair.
10.
"My, what an attractive person, maybe I should say something," says regular you.
"ARE YOU ICE CREAM? NO? NOT INTERESTED," heartbroken you says and leaves to find ice cream.
11.
"Ugh, an overly emotional Facebook post, judging so hard," says regular you.
"I RELATE SO HARD," weeps heartbroken you.
12.
"Aww, a young couple holding hands, so sweet," says regular you.
"YOUR LOVE WILL WHITHER," heartbroken you mutters under your breath.
13.
"It's a new day, and it'll be even better than yesterday!" says regular you.
"It's a new day, and it'll be a little easier than yesterday," says a slightly less heartbroken you.
