1.
If you go to Mars, your face will get huge and your eyes will explode.
3.
When you're on Mars, the walls of reality will come crashing down.
4.
Mars has telepathic stomach-babies, and you'll have to hang out with them.
5.
Mars will freak you out, Mars is freaky.
6.
Freaky shit goes down on Mars.
7.
Mars will give you paranoid delusions.
8.
YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE ON MARS.
9.
And no one will be able to tell you.
10.
The public transportation on Mars is so unreliable.
11.
And the jewelry situation is seriously stuck in the '90s.
13.
The parties on Mars totally suck.
14.
Mars boogers are way more intense than Earth boogers.
15.
You can't even really go to Mars, because Mars is a dream. MAYBE.
