My birthday is May 15th. I missed it by ONE DAY.

I live in Columbus, Ohio (Where A&F is headquartered) and everyone I know has seen this asshole around town. He has a live-in boyfriend I guess, but is notorious for being DISGUSTING and ordering his personal assistants to dress in nothing but boxer shorts and flip flops. The entire brand is based off a middle aged man’s horniness for 20 year old guys. Nobody here is surprised at the recent backlash. I wish Les Wexner’s minions would just kick him out of New Albany already.

Oh my God, please please please never do any of these.

This is a terrible situation (and right in my backyard, too). I can’t imagine what horrors those women went through, but GOOD GOD, Charles, you are a light in my heart. Keep on, keepin’ on.

OH GOD ALL OF THESE.

Big boxes of cereal? What are you a king on your own island? Cereal only existed in bag form in my house.

This is unreal. Stay safe, Watertown.

This gal. I kind of like her…what?

My dad took out a loan to get our first computer in 1993. Probably not the best use of our family money, dad.

Kelly, calm your vagina over them tits, girl.

I don’t live in my hometown anymore, but goddamn do I still read that police blotter. Best part of your Sunday morning.

CROTCH RUBBING! We recorded this video on my VCR and watched this part over and over. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT, HIGH SCHOOLERS, DO YOU?

I know this wasn’t a “Hildi” design but, the worst I can remember is the one where the kooky designer with short blonde hair and glasses painted the room purple and black diamonds with crazy hand sculptures everywhere. The couple walked out crying. I tried to find a picture of it, but it wasn’t on the front page of Google, so I guess it doesn’t exist.

Better tip: Take DayQuil and clean. It is the only legalized speed drug out there.

I think the Cleveland Halle’s closed in the 80’s. No one would get that reference today.

I was a latchkey kid, so yes, I have seen all of these movies.

I know Grape Nuts is not the most amazing tasting cereal, but seriously, it is the only cereal that keeps me full well into lunch time. A great resource for someone who is dieting and/or poor.

What are you guys? Five?

Deadest eyes we’ve seen yet.