1. UHF is the story of how Weird Al Yankovic takes over a local TV station. (UHF is like deep cable for all you young’uns.)
2. This movie is as perfect as each curl in Weird Al’s perm.
3. It has a young Fran Drescher as the hot receptionist who becomes the news reporter.
4. The film addresses serious issues of gender in the workplace.
5. Channel 62 has the greatest programming line-up of all time:
LEAVE IT TO BIGFOOT!!!!
7. Weird Al’s kids show about “Uncle Nutzy” is a flop.
9. Thankfully, Michael Richards as the janitor reveals a secret talent as the host of Stanley Spadowski’s Playhouse.
11. Who wouldn’t want to watch this show?
17. Philo’s Secrets of the Universe makes sense because he’s revealed to be a real alien with shitty animation.
18. Raul’s Wild Kingdom answered some of the questions about poodles we all wondered:
19. But Raul is VERY specific about what kinds of species can be on his show.
20. Town Talk with George solved the mystery of what’s in Jimmy Hoffa’s glove compartment (extremely topical in 1989).
21. Wheel of Fish is the greatest game show in the history of nonexistent game shows. You spin the wheel….
“You chose the box. Let’s see what’s in the box!”
“Nothing! Absolutely nothing!”
22. Gedde Wantanbe is unreasonably upset at the woman’s choice of the box over the red snapper:
27. Stanley’s speech about his new mop is the most inspirational thing in your life still:
This is my new mop. George, my friend, he gave me this mop. This is a pretty good mop. It’s not as good as my first mop. I miss my first mop, but this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just hafta take what life gives ya, ‘cause life is like a mop and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff… you, you, you gotta clean it out. You, you, you gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again and, and sometimes, sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad you know a mop, a mop, it’s not good enough, it’s not good enough. You, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta, you gotta really scrub ‘cause you gotta get it off. You gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn’t work, that doesn’t work, you can’t give up. You gotta, you gotta stand right up. You, you gotta run to a window and say, “Hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I’m not gonna take it any more!”