What It’s Like Having An Internet Crush

Total agony, mostly.

Let’s take for granted that you’re addicted to the internet.

One day you’re just browsing Twitter, or Tumblr maybe, and suddenly you come across someone interesting.

Like, really interesting. And hot, from what you can tell from their half-inch avatar.

They’re so witty and cool and smart and compatible. You can really tell.

Maybe you don’t know their actual name. But you kind of like that about them. They’re mysterious.

They DO live somewhere far-off and cool, like New York, or Los Angeles, or St. Louis!

You commence intensive researching at once.

You daydream about sending your internet crush a message, but you kind of know you never will.


Every time they post something new, it feels like personal mail.

You tell all your IRL friends about your new crush.

They’re like, “Have you guys even met IRL?” and you’re like, “This is so much bigger than RL.”

Things between you two are as hot and heavy as it is possible for a totally imaginary relationship to be.

But then! Your crush goes a whole DAY or WEEK or MORE without posting anything.

Are they still ALIVE? What if they found a DIFFERENT Tumblr boyfriend or girlfriend, because you never said hi?

You check their @replies on Twitter and get jealous of everyone your crush is talking to. EVERYONE.

You’re convinced that this dream is over, and you’re pretending to be very calm and mature about it.

But inside you are like this.

And then, suddenly, they’re back.

You try to play it cool. You try not to get too involved. You know this can’t end in anything good.

But you can’t help it, can you?

You’re smitten with a stranger on the internet.

This could go nowhere for ages.

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