9 Most Dangerous Ways To Text

A recent study shows kids are getting hurt while texting and walking. Don’t do this! Here are 9 other things to avoid when (and we know it’s a “when”) you text and walk.

1. Don’t Text Near Hanging Flora

It’s probably best to avoid hanging, head-level items in general, particularly if they are sharp — hanging knife mobiles come to mind as a worst-case scenario — but texting your way into a flower pot is probably the most embarrassing.

2. If You’re Going To Text and Walk, Really Text and Walk

I know this might seem counterintuitive — surely stopping to text is better than walking at normal speeds and texting — but it isn’t. Wouldn’t you rather be bumped by someone walking and texting than be made to rear-end someone who has slowed to a stop to text in the middle of a store aisle? Ah, maybe it depends on a lot. Just don’t hold up pedestrian traffic.

3. Don’t Text Your Way Into Other People’s Home Videos

Does ANYONE around you have a video camera? If you don’t know, it means you aren’t paying close enough attention to your surroundings. Which is kind of the point here.

4. Don’t Text Anywhere Bears Might Be

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If you think you’re safe enough to walk and text around your suburban neighborhood, you aren’t giving most bears enough credit.

5. Don’t Text Near Fountains

The thing about this woman is that she was walking directly at the fountain. She had to have seen that at some point, right? Before you start texting, notice the fountains. Are they all behind you? That’s the only way to start.

6. Don’t Text Near Lakes

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If you bring your phone near any body of water — it doesn’t matter the size — your phone is ending up in that water. And if your hand is attached to it, so are you. Bonnie knows this. So should you.

7. Don’t Text Near Stairs

This video works as secondary proof for #3 (if this person had looked up before texting she would have seen the news camera and taken her walk-texting elsewhere), but it also works as supporting evidence for the idea that you shouldn’t limit your peripheral vision near anything into which you might fall. This feels like common sense. But.

8. Don’t Text Near Cliffs

I would personally suggest staying away from 60-foot cliffs in almost every case, just as a nice general life rule, but it seems especially prudent when trying to send a text message to your friends. Unless the message is “I’m about to fall off a cliff lol,” I guess.

9. Don’t Let Apps Provide You With A False Sense of Capability

This iPhone app (and this Android version) supposedly makes walking and texting “easier” by superimposing your text over moving video of the path ahead of you. This isn’t helping; it’s enabling. Just LOOK UP! If you can’t manage without an app, you can’t manage at all.

If you’ve cleared the previous categories, what’s left? Walking and texting in deserts, walking and texting in windowless first-floor living rooms. These are probably okay. Text a word if you have to, look up again, mind your surroundings, text another word, walk normally, and be courteous and safe. We’re embarrassing ourselves.

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