1. Perhaps you have noticed that lately everything is TERRIBLE.
Have you had trouble expressing yourself in the last week? Did you get any stupid emails? Have you gotten in a fight with someone you care about, or maybe with someone you already hated a lot, but now hate even more? Did you drop anything at all this week? Why? Why can’t you seem to hold onto anything?
What is going on? Why is every single thing that is happening right now so bad?
3. Is Mercury Retrograde even a real thing?
Mercury Retrograde is an astrological term. And as 31-45% of us know, astrology is actually real. For the 55-69% of Americans who don’t think there’s any logic or credibility to be found in astrology, just remember: the planet Mercury does not care if you do not believe. The planet Mercury will still ruin your life.
4. “Fine,” you are probably saying. “You seem right. So what IS Mercury Retrograde?”
BuzzFeed spoke to astrologer Anna Payne, who says:
When the planet Mercury slows down it seems to stop to the human eye, appearing to move backwards, or ‘retrograde.’ This ‘backward’ motion has an overall energetic effect on us. The planet Mercury is the planetary ‘messenger,’ the planet ruling all forms of communication and the mind. In retrograde it slows these areas down, effecting us energetically.
6. How often does this happen, and when is this hell going to be over?
Mercury Retrograde happens three or four times a year. The one we’re in now started on February 6 and will end on February 28 (oh my god there is so much left).
Here is a schedule from famous and perfect astrologer Susan Miller, so put the relevant dates for the next four years on your calendar now.
8. What is going to happen to us during Mercury Retrograde?
As Anna Payne tells us:
Mercury affects all forms of communication, technology, and electronics. During this phase there can be an increase in misunderstandings, foggy communication, confusion, delayed messages/responses, things not being expressed as they were meant to be and slow-moving/issues with technology.
9. Be prepared: literally everything is going to be so shitty.
10. Why is it so important not to “sign contracts” while Mercury is in retrograde?
If you’ve ever read your horoscope, chances are that you’ve been warned not to “sign contracts” while Mercury is in retrograde. I do not know about you, but I am not that often on the verge of signing a bunch of contracts. Nonetheless, it is extra important not to do so at this time. Why is that? Here’s Anna:
‘Do not start anything new’ is the big scary monster of this phase. Since this is an energetic influence best used to reflect and take your time, you can avoid confusion and misunderstanding by waiting to start projects. But life goes on, no matter what is happening in the stars. So if you do have to start something new or sign contracts make sure to use a keen eye, ask more questions than usual, and know exactly what you signing up for. There is NO better time to re-read the fine print.
11. Is this Mercury Retrograde, due to where it has fallen on the calendar, worse than any Mercury Retrograde before it? (Probably.)
12. How am I supposed to survive Mercury Retrograde?
Astrologer Anna Payne advises:
1. Take a deep breath; this won’t last forever.
2. Slow down, take you time, and pay attention to details.
3. Take care of anything that requires reevaluation & revision; this is a good way to channel this energy positively.
4. If you need to heal something from the past or connect to someone from the past? This is a good time to do it. This phase gives us a chance to retrace our steps and go revisit old ground.
5. Observe, review and release. Remember to breathe!
13. Steel yourself. Breathe deeply. Resist the urge to lash out. Eventually, Mercury Retrograde will be over.
And then there will be another one, and another. Honestly I think we should just get rid of the planet Mercury because what has it really ever done for us except make our lives miserable. But, yeah, deep breaths.