1. Asking your friends where they all got their (superior) apartments, and all they ever say is that they “lucked into it.”
3. The shame/guilt in not knowing what to say when someone asks you for directions.
5. The amount of money needed up front for broker fee, first and last months’ rent, and security deposit.
6. Getting packages delivered, unless you are home at the EXACT moment of delivery.
7. Figuring out the unspoken subway code of behavioral ethics. (Is there one? It’s hard to tell.)
8. Trying to understand where you are after getting off the subway. Or before, or during.
9. Getting an actual human from Time Warner Cable on the phone, much less to come to your apartment.
10. Curbing your Midwestern/Southern enthusiasm for seeing people you know.
11. Everyone’s faces when you first pronounce Houston Street wrong (the way it looks).
13. Doing your laundry/getting your laundry done??
14. Buying furniture, getting said furniture into your actual home.
15. Trying to keep up with everyone’s trendy combined-neighborhood abbreviations.
OK I’ve got SoHo and NoHo and Tribeca. But what is ProCro. What is BoCoCa?? WHAT IS “BELDEL”???