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18 Things Only Midwesterners Understand About Winter

Why do you have gloves on? It’s 40 degrees out.

1. An intimate familiarity with the peculiar phenomenon of frozen lower-face sweat.

Jonathan Daniel / Getty Images

Breathe out, breath warms lower face, lower face sweats, sweat freezes.

2. What do you mean ‘snow day’? Our schools are only closing for one reason, and that reason is double-digit negative temperatures.

Cold day! Everyone just try to survive, ok?

3. What walkable ice looks like vs. what “I’m going to fall right away” ice looks like.

cheukiecfu / Via Flickr: cheukiecfu

4. How long it takes to wait out “I feel freezing” until you get to “I don’t feel anything.”

5. How and why this happens.

6. First neighbor up in the morning snow blows his/her driveway AND the neighbor’s.

7. Feeling jealous of the warmer weather down south in Chicago.

8. “What’s that whirring sound back in the woods??” - your friend from California.

9. It’s never “too cold” for ice cream.

Corey Seeman / Via Flickr: 7702423@N04

10. Winter does not start on December 21. Winter starts on Halloween.

blurdom / Via Flickr: blurdom

11. Do. NOT. Leave home without this. Probably two of this.

If only you could put it on yourself.

12. This is NOT OKAY.

Andrew Burton / Getty Images

Umbrellas are for ONE kind of precipitation, and THIS ISN’T IT.

13. The blissful serenity of spending your weekend like this.

14. How to build a *LEGIT* snow fort.

15. “Breezy” is 27. “Mild” is 32.

“Chilly” is 19.

16. This is not a “snow storm.” This is “some snow.”

17. *THIS* is a snow storm.

A man clears his driveway in Duluth, Minnesota.

18. It’s the best time of the year.

 

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