1. Mushrooms are empirically disgusting. They are the worm-iest of foods.
3. Mushrooms are literally fungus.
Fungus does not go in the mouth!!!!
4. Did you know that the FDA legally allows 19 maggots and 74 mites in every 3.5-ounce can of mushrooms!!
5. Mushrooms taste like nothing unless you coat them in oils and spices.
MORE LIKE SHITTY-AKE MUSHROOMS
7. Mushrooms are the surprise ruiner of many a pasta.
IT WOULD TAKE FOREVER TO PICK THESE ALL OUT
11. Everyone thinks vegetarians want a portobello mushroom sandwich or burger.
WE DON’T ALL WANT A PORTOBELLO MUSHROOM BURGER
13. AHHH IS IT TOUCHING ME? I FEEL LIKE IT’S TOUCHING ME.
15. THIS IS AN UNHOLY UNION OF LIFE (ZUCCHINI) AND CRUEL, SENSELESS DEATH (MUSHROOM CARCASSES).
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