Today is David Duchovny’s birthday. He is 54.
In celebration, let’s consider what it would really be like to date Fox Mulder. (Diehard X-heads, which is I think what the X-Files fandom would maybe call itself if the show were on today, know that Mulder’s birthday is October 13th. However, Mulder is unfortunately not real.)
1. He’ll never give up on what he believes in.
Even when he’s literally the only one who believes it. You’re like, “I love your conviction, but you are embarrassing me in front of my friends.”
2. He never calls just to say “Hi.”
4. He only watches two kinds of movies.
One is alien autopsies. The other is …. well.
5. He’s always like, “I just found these amazing old slides. You’ve gotta see ‘em.”
You’re like, “Oh yeah, cool. Yeah, no, I totally see it.”
6. Good luck getting this one to the beach/outside, period.
7. He can be a LITTLE hard to trust.
Like, it’s a lot of mixed messages from him re: the trust thing.
9. And what is he even wearing half the time?
Lotta dad jeans and turtlenecks, I’ve gotta say.
10. You can’t ever be totally sure that he’s really himself, and not just a shapeshifter who looks like him.
11. Sometimes he’s kind of a baby.
Like, is it my fault we’re out here in the middle of the night with no food or shelter hiding from camouflage monsters? Is it?
12. Every Friday it’s like, “What are we doing this weekend?”
14. He’s going to make you wait a really, really long time.
16. But then, perhaps, it will ALL BE WORTH IT.
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