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17 Signs You’re A Lapsed Catholic

“Peace—” “And also with you.”

1. You don’t believe in the devil anymore, but you kind of talk about him like you still do.

2. Like you’re not REALLY worried? But you’re a little worried.

3. You still use a bunch of folksy swear word substitutes.

4. And you can still feel the cold, creaky pews.

5. It took you a while to separate red wine from Communion.

You got there eventually, though.

6. You can still taste it.

7. You have a permanent soft spot for insanely elaborate cathedrals.

8. You will probably reflexively cross yourself in stressful situations for the rest of your life.

9. People are surprised when they find out you can still recite the full Our Father and Hail Mary, as if you’d EVER forget.

10. You have more confidence in your Biblical knowledge than someone who hasn’t touched it in 15-plus years should.

11. You can’t watch The Exorcist. You just can’t. Nope. Don’t want to.

12. You still think of Saint Christopher every time you get travel anxiety.

13. You still feel bad eating meat on Fridays during Lent.

14. When you go back to a church for a wedding, you’re not sure whether you should take Communion or not.

15. You have a very specific set of crafting skills you may never get to use again.

16. You are still TERRIFIED of getting in trouble.

17. You’re sorry. You’re sorry. You’re so, so, so sorry.

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Editor, Ghost Hunter, Ufologist
Senior Editor, Karaoke Enthusiast
 
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