9 Foolproof Methods For Avoiding Your Family On Family Day

The last people you want to see on Family Day are your family members.

1. Dodge their texts.

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They can't make you hang out with Braden if they can't get in contact with you.

2. Pretend you're sick.

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Or, if you're super hardcore, really get sick. Stop washing your hands. "Forget" to get your flu shot. Lick some subway poles. Get the job done.

3. Disguise yourself as a house plant.

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Stay completely still. They might not pick up on your existence if you’re not walking through the kitchen complaining that your dad bought the wrong kind of oatmeal.

4. Barricade yourself in your room.

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Never leave. Stock up on canned food. Pee in a jar.

5. Paint yourself to match your mom's ugly wallpaper.

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Everyone avoids looking straight at it. It's the perfect camouflage.

6. Adopt a fake identity.

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Your family will be looking for you. They WON'T be looking for Sir Reginald Poopington IV.

7. Join the circus.

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You fantasized about it when you were younger. Now's your chance!

8. Fake your own death.

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It may not be easy, but it will be effective.

9. And if things get really desperate, go to work.

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It’s a holiday, sure, but just go into the office. Sit there alone. Do nothing. Happy Family Day.