1. Turning the lights off.
This is what I expect to see every damn time I switch off the lights.
2. The split second when you can’t find your wallet/keys.
“Where the hell could they — wait, found ‘em.”
This is why that old bike pump down there will never again see the light of day.
You are putting a SHARPENED BLADE to your SKIN with every stroke. Frightening.
6. Balloons unexpectedly popping.
Knowing that they will pop doesn’t mean that you’re ever ready for it.
Nothing weird here, just a creepy clown in the shower. Move along.
Forget the germs, what if something crawls out of it and gets your butt?
9. Instant biscuit cans.
Why is opening something so delicious like trying to stop a nuclear bomb from detonating?
10. Walking through spiderwebs.
If you don’t overreact then there is something wrong with you.
11. The deep end of the pool.
Or really any body of water where you can’t touch the bottom. And forget being in water at night with no lights. That’s when the feet grabbers come out.
No matter how nice they are, there is something creepy about a person who decided to probe people’s mouths with sharp instruments for a profession.
13. Windows at night.
And that is why you leave the curtains shut.
14. Ventriloquist dummies.
WHO IS MAKING WHO TALK? THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.
15. Cotton swabs.
I guess I’m living with waxy ears for the rest of life now. Thanks, Girls!
17. Zoning out while driving.
Your lizard brain terrifyingly getting you to where you need to be.
They’re just big holes, what can possibly be so scary? Oh, yeah. Bats, wolves, serial killers, ancient burial grounds, bugs…
OK, never doing anything ever again. Byeeeeee.